Hello!

I can't find my sheet music anywhere :(

I thought I WANTED a proper balanced meal filling me up, getting rid of the headache and dizziness and giving me energy.

Turns out all I NEEDED was some coffee and a sf Monster

I had my first strawberries these time of year. They were fucking huge and juicy and so, so red and they reminded me of that huge ass banana I had the other day.

Fruit are so fucking good they're like my candy

(I don't even like that packaged junk anymore, but now when I crave it's oats and yoghurt and honey and - thankfully - fruit, which is still super easy to binge on, even if it's healthier)

getting used to the hunger once again (it's literally the best feeling)

parents tryna get me to wear a dress like noooo don't they fucking get the hints?

Was trying to read a book while pacing around my room but a couple pages in I realized just how heavy that thing was like okay, may not be the best to read while walking then, but also how am I supposed to read all that? Ugh

I've been trying to read more lately, because I always thought it was a bit of a waste of time really (I just sit around and do nothing even remotely productive, especially when it's novels I'm reading (I'm trying to get myself a couple scientific books now though so that I'll also feel like I am really doing something for my brain and interests then)) but then I got myself a digital watch and I've really started paying attention to my steps and work outs now and I got the brilliant idea of "what if I read during that?"

My neck is not thanking me. The books are not thanking me. I am NOT thanking me. But it's cool! It's books, after all.

And I used to read a lot as a kid, but that was because I got bullied (especially about my body) and literally had nothing else to do during break time back then because no one wanted to hang out with the fatty kid. Anyway, and that's one of the reasons I kind of stopped reading novels, but now I'm getting back into it!

I know that's a random ass lost but whatever. I don't even plan to write that much, I just wanted to tell you about my heavy book and then the words just started flowing lol

self harm will fix me trust

So, I tend to make self-deprecating jokes (I try not to, but sometimes when I feel especially bad they do slip out a lot)

But when I was about to make one, my one friend just told me (I can't tell if she was annoyed or rather angry, to be honest) to "quit with these fucking jokes" and yeah. I get my friends are done with me, but that still almost made me cry

First day at my Grandma's, and she moved her bathroom scale an now I can't find it :(

So now I'll have to go two days without weighing myself, and I can check my weight in three days after my Dad and I are home again... it's not an issue, I usually don't weigh myself everyday, either, it's just that I was planning to do it to keep myself accountable... Easter with my Grandma, a dangerous game food-wise