I thought I WANTED a proper balanced meal filling me up, getting rid of the headache and dizziness and giving me energy.
Turns out all I NEEDED was some coffee and a sf Monster
when it was just supposed to a quick fix but now i’m pacing the halls every time i brush my teeth , throwing food away again , always waiting for time to pass , gorging myself on yoghurt bowls & protein bars , & fear the scale
I have to calculate the perfect time to cut because of stupid swimming classes at school, so they're healed as much as possible when the next lesson takes place
It's fucking stupid honestly
why scar cream gotta be so expensive :(
The not-eating after my class was cooking went well yesterday, the teacher was so busy, she didn't even pay attention to me
Now that but four more times to go still 🥲
self harm will fix me trust
UGH I HATE ALL PRONOUNS IM GONNA EXPLODE
If alcohol bad then why so tasty? Why it make me happy :(
half of my posts are just dedicated to monster consumption these days
I'm so upset right now, because I've planned out every food I was going to eat for the day and it's been going so well, but now my parents insist they make something for the entire family to eat for dinner, and even if it's soup (and slightly lower in calories than what I would've had otherwise) I'm really quite angry I couldn't follow through with my plan :(
Also, I have no way to count the calories of what my parents cook and that makes it scary no matter what it is, but hey- they're making just soup
"i'm so bored i don't know what to do!!!" i said with 4 homeworks to do, 11 school texts to copy, a test to study for, a new subject to memorize (i'll end up doing nothing)