Feed-the-trash - Count Crackular

how do you make a couple fight without completely cementing the relationship as toxic? what do 'healthy' couples even fight about???

as someone with zero experience regarding arguing with someone whom i didn't immediately cut off afterward because of how it was handled, i've struggled with writing this concept forever 😭

send help pls :')

Every couple fights. Fights and disagreements are a part of a relationship just as much harmony and agreement. It's highly unlikely that there is a person with whom you always agree on every aspect. So, sooner or later you'll reach a point of disagreement and that can be about anything really.

A lot of couple fights are about the most trite things. Who does the dishes? Why doesn't the other want to do me that favour? No, I never said that. You must remember it wrong.

We are the most honest and blunt but also the most vulnerable with the people closest to us. That makes siblings fight a lot and it often makes couples fight more than good friends. Paired with love, these fights don't have to make a relationship toxic. Partners fight about whose turn it is to do the dishes. One ends up having to do it, and the other thanks them for it, promising to do it the next time. I think what is important when writing a 'healthy' fight is to show that even when they fight they still care a lot about the other. If it's a bigger fight, they're thinking about the other a lot afterwards. They feel bad about it afterwards, they're thinking about how the other feels now, they don't like making the other feel bad, they're crushed to find out that they're causing the other's misery. Their heart can't be at peace until they've apologised and made up.

Another sign of a healthy relationship is that minor fights aren't a rarity but are handled well. They can fight about the TV remote and it's not giving their relationship a crack or making them doubt their partner's love. Communication that is well-balanced between two partners and supports a symmetrical relationship doesn't exclude arguments but makes them a means to a functioning life together.

I made a few prompt lists about couples fighting and they are all meant to apply to healthy relationships. Here is an excerpt from a prompt list about minor fights to give you an example.

1. A: "I wanted this cookie!" B: "But there is another one." A: "That's not the one I want." 2. A: "Stop looking at me so weird!" B: "That's just how I look!" 3. A: "That's nonsense! I didn't hug you less than usual!" B: "Yes, you did! Don't try to trick me! I know exactly how long you're hugging me usually and this hug wasn't the same. So I don't approve of it as a real hug. Again!" 4. A: "Get me the remote, please." B: "Why don't you get it?" A: "I asked you a favour!" 5. A: "But it's my turn!" B: "No, it was your turn last time!" A: "That's not true! I remember it clearly!" the full prompt list: ~ FIGHTING OVER SILLY STUFF ~ OTP PROMPTS

other prompt lists about a couple arguing:

~ ARGUING LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE ~ DIALOGUE PROMPTS

~ FIGHTS OVER A GIFT ~ DIALOGUE PROMPTS

~ JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY ~ PROMPTS (this could turn toxic but you can use most of these for healthy couples)

I hope this helps you. I realised I just rambled a lot; hopefully, it makes sense :)

Character is Plot

Character is plot. I mean that as, your main character’s arc is (literally) the main plot. If you think about arcs as something to put over or alongside an existing plot, they probably aren’t working very well. Or at least, you don’t have as much time or space as you need to fully explore both a good plot and a good arc. They are one of the same, so I’d even say throw whatever idea you have about plot out the window. They’re called arcs now. Congrats.

This also means if your characters aren’t working, the whole thing is going to fall apart. So I’m going to relay what was taught to me about solid character creation, and finding your arc!

There’s five critical things that go into character building: Goal, Objective, Unconscious Need, Disrupting Characteristic, and a Formative Event. They all work very closely together, so once you get one going, the others typically fall into place. (oh, and they sound complicated, but I promise they’re not.)

Goal and Objective go hand in hand, I’m sure you’re telling me right now that actually they’re the same thing. You’re right, they kind of are. The reason I split them up is so I make sure I always get not only a journey for my character to go on, but a meaning behind it. Action and intention. So:

Objective: the actionable (your character can work at it) objective of the story. What your character is physically doing throughout the story. Frodo taking the ring to Mordor is his Objective, Rapunzel going to see the lanterns in Tangled. Mulan protecting her dad by taking his place. Essentially, objective is what we’ve thought of as plot.

Goal: the intention behind the objective. Why is your character doing this? This is usually the emotional core of the story, where we tuck away arc and characterization. Rapunzel wants to see the lanterns to finally get out and start her life. Mulan wants to prove she’s worthy. Your character wants to make someone proud, or hurt someone who’s hurt them, or feel loved. This is the emotion behind their objective and cannot on its own be turned into an arc. One cannot ‘prove themselves worthy’ out of a void, that’s the goal, you also need an objective, ‘prove themselves worthy through taking their father’s place in the war’.

If you have these, great job! You’ve got a really solid foundation for your arc. What your character wants, and why they want it. However, if we just follow an objective and goal, your characters are going to feel very lifeless—so we need some additional depth:

Unconscious need: This will probably be the one you get stuck on the most. Good thing is, both of these words are hints on what to do here, Unconscious meaning your character doesn’t realize it, couldn’t put it into words, and Definitely doesn’t say it out loud. Need, is the start of how to answer this blank space. Your character needs to realize something they haven’t been aware of to achieve their goal. Or they need to realize a flaw in their goal. For example, a woman wants to run for president (objective) to make her mother proud (goal), but she needs to realize all her mother wants is to spend more time with her, and by using all her time to campaign for president, she’s actually splitting them further apart. Mulan needs to internalize that she doesn't have to be bigger than life to make her parents proud of her and bring them honor.

Your need is character specific, which means no one else should need the same thing. If your need can apply to multiple people, you probably didn’t get specific enough. Everyone needs to be loved, everyone needs to feel cared for. However, not everyone closed themselves off from relationships and needs to open up to people if they want to foster a connection. See the difference?

This step will directly influence how you write your climax, because it leads to a choice your character makes. They can either realize their need and adhere to it (Fine, I’ll take my name out of the campaign for president/call my parents/apologize to the people I’ve hurt) or continue with their objective despite it. Typically, characters that ignore their need after they realize it are considered to have tragic arcs. Getting your character to realize their need is the end of their positive arc, it’s what we’ve been working towards all along.

So it’s important. Don’t skip, yes?

Disrupting Characteristic: this one is fun. This step is adding a flaw to your character, specifically, it’s the flaw that’s holding them back from meeting their need. If there was nothing holding them back, wouldn’t they be satisfied already? So that’s the easiest place to start with this one, what they need, and what could possibly be holding them back from it. If they need to see their father as he truly is, maybe their disrupting characteristic is that they’re optimistic to a fault. This characteristic could be a thing the character does (idolizes their father, acts fiercely independent, etc.) or a belief they have about themselves or the world (self conscious, believes humans are inherently cruel, etc.) It’s the epitome of their internal conflict, they need something, but some ingrained part of them is keeping them from it. Evil? Absolutely. But us writers tend to be.

The disrupting characteristic is the internal arc your character goes through, they are working and being challenged throughout the story to overcome this characteristic. So in another example, a romantic character may realize their parents led them to believe they were undesirable (unconscious need), and that it has no merit, so they gain a new confidence and overcome their self consciousness (disrupting characteristic) to ask their ideal partner out.

You see what I mean why I say all these steps work together. Need and disrupting characteristic and goal are so intertwined that it can be difficult sometimes to voice them apart from each other, but they also can’t carry each other. A solid need and disrupting characteristic isn’t going to do much if you don’t have a very convincing goal. Make sure you can put them into words (preferably write them down) and voice them all as separate things from each other, and how they work together. If you can do that, you’re set.

Last but not least is Formative Event: this is essentially your beginnings of backstory. The formative event Is the (usually) singular event in a character’s past that made them to be who they are today—importantly, that developed their need and disrupting characteristic. Your character showed up to school in their new dress and was bullied, a mom left, or a dog died. The reason they are the way that they are. From this, you can build up the rest of their backstory. Moana is chosen by the ocean, her parents try to keep her away from the ocean, she grows up unsure about the idea of being the next chief. If you’re struggling with backstory, start here, build around it.

(Oh, and you don’t necessarily have to mention the formative event in your story, in fact most screenplays don’t. As long as you know it, you’re set.)

Speaking of backstory, it’s our invisible sixth step (or… first, really) because all of these things you come to know about your character is developed out of backstory (which makes it a pretty good place to start). It makes sense, really, if these steps are who they are, they’ve become that way because of where they’ve come from. I tend to start with family when I’m trying to discover backstory, given family is a large part of who we are—then education, then home/community, friends, interests, etc. But there’s no real ‘perfect’ way to do it. Just write, let your mind wander, add and take away whatever you want, and meet your new character for the first time.

So how did all of that give you your plot? It’s through how they change! We’ve created someone who wants something, and needs something else, and unless we take them on a journey so they can figure it out, we’ll never have a story. So that journey to help them realize their need? That’s your plot.

If you’re struggling with how to help them change, consider putting your arc into a logline (something screenwriters do, but I find it really helpful even in novel writing). A logline is essentially your plot (character arc) summed up in a sentence or two. It goes like this: A but B so C

A: Disrupting characteristic

but

B: Conflict (goal/objective meets antagonist)

so

C: Changed character

Loglines are a tool for writing (at least in the way we’re using them), so make sure you have your full story—ending, character change, conflict, anything you’d find helpful to keep you on track.

I’ll often write a logline for each major character I have. Here’s an older one about a character I’ll call “Mark”:

A: Obsessive

B: His death has been predicted

C: Opens up to the others, recognizes he only has a little bit of time left, and should spend it with the people he loves (that’s also his need!)

Logline: Private Mark Jackson obsesses over an unproven myth that promises the escape of his small life, but when his untimely death is foretold and every day drives him closer to his fate, he opens up to his friends to be content in a slightly different life than he had imagined for himself.

Loglines are great because they have it all!

Private (additional characteristic) Mark Jackson obsesses (disrupting characteristic) over an unproven myth (objective) that promises the escape of his small life (goal), but when his untimely death is foretold and every day drives him closer to his fate (conflict), he opens up to his friends (need) to be content in a slightly different life than he had imagined for himself (change).

You see how the entire story is right there in that sentence? This is a great place to start before we move onto officially outlining next week, so save your work, we’ll come back to it!

To get a good handle on all this, I’d recommend watching your favourite movies or reading your favourite book and filling out as many steps as you can, then creating loglines for each major character. Disney movies especially stick to this structure (thus all the examples) and typically have very clear arcs, but anything works.

Good luck!

Family isn't always a mom, a dad, and a child

Sometimes it a murder mom who always has full mother's adrenaline, a spy dad who isn't as observant as he thinks, and a telepathic 4 year old who lied about her age and is literally the only one who knows what the fuck it going on.

My fav thing to do when thinking abt plot points for a story is trying to figure out the most emotionally damaging thing that’ll either make or break my characters from then on

I had a really bad migraine last night, but I've run out of everything except these hungarian pain killers my dad gave me 9 years ago, anyway I don't remember anything and I can't feel my tongue and the only thing in my search history is this

Quick Tips on Writing Better Characters

Here are a handful of quick tips to writing stronger characters and understanding them better as a writer.

Give your characters a title. This can help with worldbuilding and placing your protagonist into the environment. What do others call your characters? The emperor, the bastard son, the Grinch, the chosen one, the class clown, the evil witch, the popular girl, etc.

Use your settings to enhance your character. You can use the locations of your novel to mirror or contrast your character. Do they blend in or stand out? What they focus on can say a lot about them (ex. a fearsome character mishearing things on a dark street, a princess in a ballroom only focused on the exit.)

Know your protagonist's motives and goals before you start writing. What is something they need that fuels their actions throughout the novel? Money, freedom, an artifact, food? To protect their sister at all costs and survive the Hunger Games? 

Now that you know their motive, make it more complex. A character's motive can be made more complex by putting them in high-stake situations that force them to make decisions. For example, Katniss wants to protect her sister, a very common motivation. However, present-day conflict makes her to do it in the most extreme way by volunteering in the Hunger Games. The plot forces her to make an extreme choice fueled by her motivation.

Your protagonist should be active. It's okay to have your story's events sometimes happen to your character (this is referred to as the character being passive, ex. a tornado sweeping them away) but your protagonist should be active a majority of the time. This means they should always be making decisions, thinking, reflecting and progressing through obstacles.

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