No I Did NOt Just Stay Up To Midnight Making Cookies Specifically To Give To Her

ngl I think that one of the most stressful things about having a tc is that you really have to be the one to show that you’re friendly and interested in getting to know them to make the relationship grow.  like yeah they can initiate a conversation with you every now and again but it’s really up to you to show that you’re not just another student taking their class to pass it, and having to be the one to make that initial connection is so weirdly difficult sometimes.

i literally hate when i go to talk to her and there’s someone in her room… it’s always the same guy too like LEAVE this is my time

7/2/22

we had such a nice conversation today she was telling me about her dream car and her family and how much she hates teaching younger classes and it was literally the best time ever . her laugh is so cute

.

imagine …

your tc marking an essay or test and smiling softly at the doodles and drawings you did out of boredom

choosing to mark your work first, so you get it earlier, or last, just to annoy you

your tc immediately recognising your handwriting and admiring it because it’s just so you

being SO. PROUD. when you get a good grade if you were struggling, even in another subjects

hearing you defend him/her in passing conversation with friends, and defending you if another teacher complains about you

your tc understanding stress and being chill about it, extending due dates etc because they want you to focus on your health

your tc admiring you while you’re in your element (besides their subject) like singing/art/etc

your tc looking at you with a smile and fighting the urge to wave as you pass their classroom without realising

noticing when you get a haircut or when you wear a new outfit/accessory to school

him/her letting you off with a warning about dress codes bc you kinda just rock it

your tc cheering just a little louder when you receive an award or achievement

a small part of him/her hoping its you visiting their office when they hear the familiar knock at the door

your tc giving you That look when people are being dumb and not paying attention in class because they kinda just wanna sit and teach you

yr welcome ( ♥︎ω♥︎)੭ꠥ⁾⁾˚ ⁺˳✧༚

28/03

saw her for a chat today i think i disturbed her marking tho lol

i think our story just ended. made a reason to go into school today and she had left by the time i got there. tomorrow is the last day of term and there’s so little chance of seeing her and i have no reason to be there . but i wanted to apologise for the email and leave a way to get in touch but our last interaction is now just a normal conversation and that stupid email. i know it’s stupid to think that her leaving early today had anything to do with me but i can’t stop thinking that she wants to avoid me.

she’s not going to be here all summer as she’s going travelling so i can’t even dream about running into her some random day, and the next time i could see her is next year now if even .

i don’t want to email her again because i feel like she hates me but i feel so…. crushed

how does 7 years and all those chats and silly memories just end on a random week day and i didn’t even know it was the last one ?

From The 50 Greatest Love Letters of All Time, edited by David H, Lowenherz

27/12/22

so i’m seeing her next week :)

when she says i can come see her to chat anytime 🥰🥰🥰🥰

what did she reply !!?!

she was just like !!! use my email also miss u come see me before u move to university

so

i’m seeing her on friday

crying screaming throwing up