I Could Fix Her But I Like Her The Way She Is

JOSH HARTNETT as REN

SHE'S MISSING (2019) dir. Alexandra McGuinness

I bet he liked you.

He did, yeah.

Hi! Do you have any advice to fight an internet addiction? I’ve been trying so much recently but it’s so difficult finding a balance with the digital life and the real one in a world so centered on social media and internet in general. Thank you in advance for your answer! ^_^

Logging Off

As always, I suggest reading Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport

Take an audit of all of your social media accounts and internet habits. Ask yourself why you use them so much.

Think of all the things you "don't have time for" on your to-do list or list of goals. Imagine if you had 2,3,4+ more hours a day to get them done. How much would your life improve? Your self esteem? Your overall happiness? Your bank account, perhaps?

Understand that FOMO is stupid and you're not missing out on anything. Oh no, you haven't seen that meme or missed that tweet that was viral for 12 hours! Oh the horror!!! You missed celebrity selfie #22977, oh how can you live with yourself!!

Tell your friends to text you rather than DM'ing you. Call your family members and catch up for real, rather than just occasionally perusing their profiles. Better yet, go visit people in person. Your bond will be significantly stronger than if you just exchange memes and likes sometimes.

Most people start with app timers or blockers. I used to recommend them, but I don't anymore. Not when you're first getting started. I think a proper detox for at LEAST a week is necessary. But honestly, if you've been addicted to the internet for several years, a week won't be enough. You need a detox of a month (or longer). Once your detox ends, that is when I recommend to use blockers/timers.

Log off, and don't come back until your 30 days is up.

Staying Logged Off

You can't just log off and then....stare at a wall??? You need to fill your newfound time with something to do.

First, make a schedule for your day. Have some structure in your life. Do the things you said you were gonna do, when you said you were gonna do it. No more guessing about your day. Make a schedule.

Add in more exercise, cleaning, maintenance of your physical appearance, studying, music practice, language learning, get to those online courses you saved, go visit people, take a class, read some books, pick up sewing, get back to drawing or painting, the list goes on and on. Have a mix of things you can do indoors and outside of the home. Easy low-effort things like having a book to grab at a moments notice, and more effort-needing things like extensive workouts. Basically, have a plethora of hobbies to fill your days. So many hobbies that take up time that you won't even be able to do them all in one day. You will have a full life.

Read up on the dangers of extended internet/social media usage. Read about snapchat dysmorphia, how being exposed to ads all day hurts us, the rise of mental health crises in our overly-plugged-in generation.

Being Happy In the Real World

Once you get rid of the compulsion to visit those apps/websites because you've gone long enough without accessing them, you won't think about it much. You'll have so many more important and interesting things going on that mindlessly scrolling won't be so appealing anymore.

But don't stop there. Keep expanding your horizons and finding more things to have an abundant life. Making new friends, dating, leveling up your skills, etc. Life can and will just get better and better and better.

You may find that you want to forgo some internet spaces completely and just delete those accounts. Great! For the ones you do decide to return to, set a schedule. An hour a day? Unlimited time but ONLY after you've completed your to-do list? Only online on the weekends? Find what works best for you.

Remember that existing only online is miserable. If your internet goes out and you are forced to be disconnected for a few hours, what's your life like? What do you have for yourself? Do you have friends that aren't pixels on a screen? Do you have achievements besides your 500 followers?

Cillian Murphy in Watching the Detectives, (2007).

me during the day: ah i'm so sleepy. i'm so fucking tired oh my god i can't wait to go to bed tonight.

me during the night: let's download the top 100 songs from 2010 and listen to them all while writing a novel and watching an entire season of something and maybe rearrange my room or read 2 books and complete my assignment which was due last week haha i'm so productive.

i recently found these wonderful academia spotify playlists and later found out that the person had made multiple of them! so i thought i would share them, along with some other playlists i found. almost every (if not all) of these are instrumentals!

reading playlist

writing playlist

studying playlist

painting playlist

dark academia playlist

piano instrumentals

light academia

romantic academia

if anybody knows the @ of the creators for these, please let me know! i'd love to give them credit.

i study, i think about studying, then i study some more. — paris geller, gilmore girls 📖

girl, lock in! 📓🍵🩰

UP your water intake! no more bloating here.

7-10k steps a day. move. your. body — walk, chores, park farther. don’t take shortcuts, do it all!

probiotics, protein, fiber.

prioritize whole foods.

educate yourself for an hour a day. NO EXCUSES. listen to podcasts/youtube videos/audiobooks. read an article or book. learn how to cook better or take care of your skin type. just learn something! don’t let your brain be wasted away. it CRAVES growth.

HAVE ADMIN DAYS. make your to do lists, set 3 priority tasks and set 15-20 minutes of uninterrupted time to tackle them. boom.

stop aimlessly shopping. you have everything to need to live. save up! your future self will thank you.

Cillian Murphy as Neil Lewis in Watching the Detectives (2007) dir. Paul Soter