Latest Posts by im-made-of-crushed-little-stars - Page 8

Hahahahahahahaha BPD episode

"It made me so happy to hear you laugh again" Yet you are the only reason I even did. You make me so happy yet you make me so angry, so sad and so hurt. I don't want to lose yourself, but I can't lose myself more in the process of trying to keep you close.

I try and try and try, yet you seem to move further away from me after every try.

Why won't you let me love you?

Please don't tell me that this is all just a sick and twisted game that you are playing, because the game you would be playing is called "My feelings" and I would lose every time.

I want attention every second of the day except fromnwhen I don't want attention

fuck i’m so fucking unlovable i wanna fucking kill myself so fucking violently FUCK i love hurting myself

Or just ignore me I guess, that doesn't hurt at all...

I scream for love with the same mouth that spits venom, and I wonder why no one stays

im so lonely. ill always be lonely no matter where i am. it hurts so bad, it feels like my stomach is tearing from the inside.

I'm a mess, I get worse as the time goes on.

I'm so replaceable

I want to look as fucked up on the outside as I am on the inside

the moment sh goes from punishment to reward, you're cooked

I hate caring so much about people who don’t care about me. I would stop if I could, I’m just so desperate for someone to love me as much as I love them

If you know me In real life get off my page or I'll block you this is my safe place and I really dont want you introducing

If you can't respect my boundaries I'll have to end are friendship

Intro

You can call me stars

They/them

Lesdian

Trying to recover

I wanna fuck up my arms so bad tehe:3

i wasnt talking back, i was trying to tell you how i feel.

sorry i forgot that if my emotions and opinions dont align with yours its considered defiance.

and then you tell me i can "talk to you about anything"? fuck off.

I never realized how calming sh really is until I'm almost ripping my hair out and hitting my head trying to not cut and distract myself, now I've relapsed and I feel so calm w the blood running down my arm

I’m not crazy. I was abused.

realizing you’re built to understand but not to be understood

Sh culture is wanting help but not wanting help because you don't want to be viewed as the cutter freak

.

Another vent

Tw sh, sa, child neglect

If any of this triggers you please dont read any further

I have this friend ill call m for this that is really making me want to sh. Basically when I was younger I was sa as a child by my birth mom (who im no longer with or in contact with) and now I'm adopted by my aunt.however my 3 sister all younger than me are living in foster care with my grandpa now m knows all of this and more that I won't get into but she thinks she can tell me about my situation. I try to explain to her that I think of them as my half siblings since we all have different dads but my friend says that's not how it works and I get it might not but that term feels right to me but today she crossed the line.We were In class talking about families and we got to siblings and we had to raise are hands I wasn't going to since she was going to ask questions I knew I couldn't answer them(I saw them for the first time in 7 years a month ago and know their names only)but my friend made me put my hand up and got mad at me when I said I felt like I shouldn't and she kept persisting so I snapped at her and said that it's my life not yours and you don't and I feel like a shit friend for getting mad at her.but it makes me mad at m since she knows I was sa and neglected but she still says stuff like that and makes me feel like shit for even trying to to tell.i feel like a horrible friend and don't know how to fix this

If read all of this thank you for listening

If you have any advice or want to share a story feel free to say anything

I’ve been engaging in behaviours not beneficial to my wellbeing

being chronically on tumblr is so embarrassing because i look like a crazed stalker liking peoples posts 1 millisecond after it was posted

Just when you think you’ve reached the bottom, the ground splits again

they will never want me as much as i need them

the “i wanna go home” never leaves my head even when i’m physically sitting in my bed