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A guide to entering the Hotwife lifestyle for prospective Hotwives

This guide to entering the Hotwife lifestyle oieced from various sources on the net; thanks to their assistance here!        

Probably, you were quite unaware that a large percentage of men, your husband being one of them, even had these desires. He wants to share you with other men and women and see you enjoy sex with them!

If you are the adventurous open minded type, and you likely are, you are now contemplating doing what he fantasises about; being able to enjoy the company of other men; their different personalities and conversations, touch, kisses, bodies, their cocks and ways of fucking which will all enhance the wonderful experience that is your marriage and your life! 

If you are brave and naughty enough and you embark down this path, you will find yourself having more fun, happiness and sexual fulfilment than you ever thought possible. You will be feeling as confident as you did when you were first married and probably find yourself even more in love with your husband and appreciating him more than ever.

 Initially, it might take time before you are completely comfortable describing your fantasies to your hubby, having sex in front of him and enjoying dates with other men without him. To begin with, it is important to go slowly and not rush things, you need to check and nurture your relationship first and foremost. Your husband’s approval and peace of mind is fundamental as most men are unaccustomed to actually sharing their wives even if they have fantasied about it. After all, it is against all that society has groomed him to be; he’ll therefore take some time to overcome his instinctive jealousy and become accustomed to watching or knowing you are being intimate with other men without him.

 You must help his mind accept and be happy for you being with other men; make the thoughts as pleasurable for him as they are for you. You should regularly and casually talk sexually about men, women too if you are that way inclined, like I am. Talk about your past sexperiences, thoughts and lovers in detail whilst in bed together; never be at all reserved about this, thinking you are protecting his feelings in one way or another. Tell him in detail about your best times and your favourite men; whilst you both are being intimate have him imagine you with them as well as being with men you actually know.

 Once your husband is completely comfortable and happy with this, you can gradually move on to actually dating and fucking other men. This really will become quite natural for you both and providing he never feels neglected, he will let you do anything sexually and will get great sexual satisfaction from your encounters with other men, he will be pleased that you are happy and enjoying life. You will discover it will also turn you both on like nothing you’ve ever done before and most importantly, he will be drawn to your womanly sexiness like never before and be more in love with you than at any time in your marriage as your bond strengthens further.

 To find your playmates, look at men everywhere, young and old, enjoy looking at them, but don’t always go on looks. Next time you are out shopping or out and about, see if you can find one guy you fancy in some way. If you do, initiate some form of basic conversation. It may be a little nerve wracking, but do it, you will be happier for it and who knows where it may lead? Visit an adult dating website or a swinger’s club and start interacting with men. Be upfront about your newbie-status and that you’re only dipping your toes at this stage. Get to know some experienced “bulls”, most will be more than happy to answer questions and respect your need to explore at your own pace. You may want to discreetly indicate to those in the know that you are a Hotwife by wearing an anklet; either ankle will do. It is a discreet sign that you are available to date other men with her husband’s permission and approval. For most people who are not aware of the lifestyle, an anklet is simply an anklet and has no other meaning. Maybe wear one and see how you get along?

Try to find men you have a sexual chemistry with, it’s so important. Sexual chemistry isn’t dependent on physical attractiveness. I’ve had sex with many good looking men but felt little to no chemistry with them. The sex was good but it never left me wanting more. In fact, I didn’t care if I never saw them again. Conversely, I’ve played with men who were more or less average in attractiveness but months later, I find myself daydreaming about them, it’s either there or it isn’t.

The Hotwife lifestyle takes you away from the routine, like a weekend break or vacation does. You will be intimate with and share another person’s sexuality, looking at a different face and body, hearing a different voice and doing different things with your new lovers that you may not normally do. It will empower you and make you feel different about yourself in a great way. For me, I developed better emotional and physical intimacy with all men, especially my husband, enjoying sex more than ever, making me feel more confident than I ever had done previously.

Remember that open communication is important to establish your goals and boundaries and make this lifestyle work for you and your husband. The idea that you are sexy enough to go to another man for your sexual pleasures will drive him crazy with lust for you, trust me! Husbands of Hotwives want to be immersed into their wives’ sexual being completely as they are totally besotted by their wives; they relish the excitement of watching their partner and exploring her sexuality. A husband’s involvement can vary a lot, some Hotwives play completely on their own with no interaction with her hubby, others enjoy their man watching or participating, some do both. All variations on this lifestyle are appropriate, as all couples are unique in what they like, it is up to you. This includes how often the Hotwife dates and or fucks her new male friends, this may be weekly, monthly or just a few times a year, it’s up to you.

After your liaisons with other men, tell your husband all the intimate details whilst relaxing together, have him stroke himself and imagine you being with your lover whilst you tell him about the event. Don’t hide anything at all, if your lover made you cum with his big cock, say so, hold nothing back at all, even if you did stuff with your lover that you haven’t done with your husband. This creates a sexually charged closeness for you both on a continual basis; this is truly special part of the relationship for many couples.

A key point when embarking on this lifestyle is that you take control of your sexuality, it revolves around you, the Hotwife, empower yourself within the confines of your happy marriage. So, when you decide you’re going to go out and meet someone, or have someone over, just tell your husband, in a very matter of fact way whether he is to be involved or not. If you are having a man over, discuss with your husband him the things he can do to set the tone and create a special night for you both and your lover.  When your lover arrives, things then change; you are his, think about and look after his needs as well as yours. Don’t be timid and make small talk for an hour, everyone knows he’s there for a sexy time. Unashamedly show your desire for the other man, initiate intimacy and even drool over him and make compliments while your husband watches. Pay attention to your lover exactly like you would if you were totally alone with him, if you are not alone that is. Treat him like you treated your husband when you first started fucking. Let your naughty slut come out to play with plenty of dirty talk, give him all he wants and experiment a little. Don’t be shy or act inhibited, do anything you want and don’t be afraid to moan and scream and cry out with passion. Be sure to let your husband know when you orgasm with your new lover. Continue to pamper your lover exactly as you would your husband, right up until the goodnight kiss at the door. It’s always up to you, you’re the Hotwife, do what turns you on; you are in charge. The excitement of experiencing a new man sexually, while at the same time turning on the man I love, is difficult to explain but incredibly exciting.

Emotional attachment with your play dates can and will happen, so be watchful that lines are not crossed. Until you’ve got a better handle on things you should only contact a guy to arrange a date for sexual play. I’ve crossed the line in the past so I’m wary of repeating mistakes, common sense prevails here. . If a guy insists on more contact in between dates because he otherwise feels ‘used’, then I recommend moving on. 

 It doesn’t have to be all clinical either, a little contact and “closeness” between a Hotwife and her playfriends is more than appropriate and in many cases quite essential to build up some excitement before a meet. Even if I haven’t had contact with an out-of-town playmate for months, in the lead up to a date, we’ll exchange quite a few flirty and dirty text messages. There’s nothing like anticipation right? In fact, I would feel a bit weird jumping straight into bed with a guy without stoking the fire first. My husband actually likes building up some excitement and energy before a date so he thinks it’s more than fine to communicate or even see him for a drink or two first.

 This lifestyle is about living life to the full, however, you will be unsure at times. What is needed is for you both to take time to acclimatise to this new sexual way of living, so, pause and reflect. Ask yourselves some pertinent questions and then continue living the lifestyle or move on from it, maybe it’s just a little adjustment that is required. 

You must also remember that all women have phases of feeling unsexy and it occasionally takes time and a little effort to lure the sex goddess within you out to play, this is normal. Do not give up or cancel a playdate unless really necessary, persevere and stay on course. Hotwifing in itself is very good for a woman’s self-esteem but unless you feel confident about yourself, you won’t enjoy the experience as much as you should. Pamper and treat yourself to sexy underwear or something that makes you feel good. Men are definitely turned on by happy women. Remember that you are probably your harshest critic so take it easy on yourself.

On occasions when you have been with other men, with your hubby or without him, the next step is very important if you want to keep doing this and ensure your husband is happy supporting your Hotwife lifestyle. Turn all your attention to him, become his again, letting him reclaim you. You must be right back in your husband’s arms and become his wife and lover again, making sure he receives the love and pleasure so that he very much desires to watch you do it again and again. Over the next few days, reassure him that you’re his wife forever and remind him that you love the fact that he lets you enjoy this lifestyle. Tell him how much you enjoyed the time with your lover; replay the night over and over, tell him you can’t wait to do it again and how you appreciate the freedom he gives you. 

A word sometimes used to describe husbands in this alternative lifestyle, including mine, is “Stag”. This is a man who shares his woman, but without accepting being treated as a subordinate in any way by his wife and lover. Those who do enjoy this are known as Cuckolds and their activities cross over into the Sado-Masochism (S&M) lifestyle, different to what I’m talking about here. The men who entertain Hotwives (also known as Vixens) are called Bulls or perhaps more realistically, her lovers, playfriends or playdates.

 Chances are you’ll be having great sex with your Stag for weeks after he watches or hears about you fucking other men, he will naturally be more attentive and loving than he was before you started being his Hotwife for real, not just in his fantasies. 

The lifestyle will become an important part of your sexual relationship and it will grow into the most exciting sex life you’ve ever imagined together, there is so much to experience in this lifestyle that you’ll never be bored. One life, be happy together!

Will chastity ruin my boy? (My experience)

My third boyfriend in college was the real deal. I did my undergrad at a well known UC school located very close the beach. Lots of people surfed and body boarded…but not like this guy. He looked the part and his character backed up those looks every wit.

The first time I ever saw him was at a surf contest. He came in second but caught the biggest wave of the event. The way he maneuvered and fearlessly dominated the roaring force of nature was enough to twitterpate this pre-med student.

I remember ogling him when he came out of the water after his run. His wavy  blond hair dripped water down his chest. It was curled and bleached from hours and hours spent in the salty sea. HIs deep aqua-blue eyes were confident and he had no problem meeting my stare. A girl can tell when a guy is totally wrong for her and sometimes a girl just doesn’t care.

I didn’t get a chance to talk to him until the luau. I maneuvered over to the table laden with pineapple drinks where he was stationed, chatting up another surfer. I watched him through the corner of my eye, willing him to approach me. He wasn’t a body builder but was incredibly fit. His golden tan skin seemed to glow at dusk. His left arm was completely covered in tattoos, and not the lame poser variety. They looked for all the world like authentic ancient Polynesian symbols of gods of sun and sea.

Like clockwork he approached me and offered me a pineapple. I don’t recall his opening line but I remember him laughing heartily when I said, “Nice job out there. A little too far ahead of the curl, though…” We chatted briefly before I was cut off by other girls trying to get their turn.

Shortly afterward I was walking on campus when I heard a bike behind me. It was our surfer friend. He had spotted me and recognized me and rode up next to me to offer me a ride to class. He was bare chested (his white “wife beater” was tucked into his pants) so of course I couldn’t say no. You know, he reminded me of a perpetually shirtless Heath Ledger. He lifted me right up on the handlebars of the big beach cruiser and whisked me through the warm air to class.

That was the beginning of our long dance. We would tell each other about parties and we’d sort of show up. His parties were pretty exclusive surfer gatherings that you had to be in the know to attend. The parties I was usually invited to were the geekier pot lucks that the biology and medical students over-organized.

I remember when he showed up to the first biology party. It was in a professor’s house near campus. When he walked in I could feel his presence change the tone in the room. His feet were only ever bare or shod in some ultra insider hand-made leather sandals that you can only buy in Hawaii. He had a shirt, thankfully, but compared to the rest of the tight-laced khaki-wearing attendees he stood out like a lion in a flock of sheep. And I wasn’t the only one smitten by his aura. I was talking to a girlfriend at the moment and I remember laughing aloud at her try to carry on our conversation while her eyes slowly tracked his movements around the room.

He made his way over to me, sampling a few of the hors-d'oeuvres and shooting smiles and head-bobs in the direction of people who seemed to recognize him. He reached me put his tan hand on my elbow and said, “Let’s go to a real party.”

To be continued…

The Chastity Plan

In the beginning of a FLR, when chastity is first introduced, usually, there's no real plan in place. It's all about learning the effects chastity has on him, and she slowly realizes she likes him better that way. Lock times are generally short, as his body is not yet adjusted to nighttime erections, but as the lock times get longer, his body adjusts accordingly.

Locking him up for a few days at a time can be a lot of fun. It's in the first 3 days that he really becomes affectionate, cuddly, attentive, and obedient. Some FLR's may stay here, and just use chastity to remain in this honeymoon type phase. No real chastity plan needs to be thought of.

But eventually, many Dommes discover that letting him out to cum, is actually quite annoying. It can take 1-3 days after allowing him a full release, for him to regain that submissive affection. So naturally, she has to come up with a plan, if she wants to keep him in that state for longer.

In the end, it all boils down to his orgasm. The type of orgasm he has, determines everything. Many Dommes, when starting out, maybe unaware that there are other types of orgasms available. For example, if she wants to give him a release, yet keep him in that submissive state, she can give him a ruined orgasm.

A ruined orgasm is one where he is stimulated carefully, and slowly. She can work him until he is right near the edge, the point of no return, and then with minimal movement, she tips him over the edge. Ceasing all stimulation.

She reads his body language, and with practice, she can recognize every sign she needs to see, to expertly ruin his orgasm. Without stimulation, his cum just oozes out, without spurting, slowly dribbling, and he feels minimal pleasure.

Once she knows about ruined orgasms, she can come up with a real chastity plan. Because now she has a way of letting him have a release, while still keeping him exactly where she wants him.

She can now reserve full releases for special occasions, or when she thinks he deserves one. Maybe one full release per month? Birthdays and Christmas only? She gets to decide, which is the point.

There is yet another kind of orgasm she may not know about. Milking. While ruined orgasms do require the cage to be removed, milking him does not. She can now give him a release without removing the cage. To milk him, she just needs a finger, or a small device, to insert into his ass.

Again, it takes a bit of practice, but she can feel for his prostate, and gently stimulate it until cum oozes out of his cage. This is particular ideal for her, because he gets drained completely, yet he feels no pleasure at all, often even a bit of discomfort, since the prostate is sensitive to pressure.

Milking him can be included in the chastity plan, perhaps even as a punishment, she can cancel his full uncaged released, and milk him instead. Or it can be used as a maintenance release to keep his juices flowing. It's just one more option available to her.

The last option, is the use of a strap-on, inducing a prostate orgasm. This is the option that provides him with the most pleasure. Perhaps reserved as a treat for being good. A prostate orgasm, can be very intense, and extremely pleasurable.

He will have a full release from it, even through his cage. The cage need not be removed. It will cause some sub drop, but not as strong as a full release. This is because of the anal stimulation, and the prostate being involved. He will recover faster, likely within 12 - 24 hours to get back to the desired submissive state.

With all these options available to her, she has a strong tool box for a perfect chastity plan that suits her needs. Armed with this knowledge, and the psychological and physiological effects on him, she will truly be dominating him.

The strap on can also be used, as a way of increasing submission, as long as he doesn't cum. So it's a dual use tool of dominance, and can be used often, if she wishes.

She now has the option, to keep him permanently chaste, with milkings, or allow him ruins and full releases as she sees fit. As the FLR grows, lock up times typically get longer and longer, because the benefits are worth it.

The chastity plan can help her fully step into her confidence and become the Dominant she was always meant to be.

Want to have the FLR of your dreams?

Check out the Practical FLR book series here!

No way your skinny little 5 inches could please this bod

Get out of the way beta 🤏😙

Meet your new best friend. You two are going to get very cozy in the coming months and years. Once I slide her on it’s inevitable. In time you’ll experience pleasure and frustration you’ve never even dreamed possible. You may not believe it now, but eventually you’ll become so addicted to her that you’ll never want her off.

The Importance of Milking Him!

Milking him is one of the best tools a Domme has for controlling how much pleasure her submissive will feel.

Ejaculation feels good, except when milked.

Even with ruined orgasms he will feel a little pleasure. It will be more like a tease, but it will be pleasurable.

Milking him on the other hand, gives him no pleasure, and might even make him feel a little bit of discomfort, while also draining him completely.

It will relieve the pressure, without any side effects, and keep his body producing more for maximum frustration. All without any bit of satisfaction on his end.

Instead, the focus is on her pleasure, and her pleasure is the only pleasure that occurs, so he learns to enjoy giving pleasure rather than receiving it.

It means the only time he will feel pleasure, is when giving it, so he will always be eager to please!

The chastity cage doesn't need to be removed when milking him either, he will make a mess, but he can clean that up easily.

Milking can be reserved as a punishment, if she normally allows him any kind of pleasure, like an erection, or teasing, or even cumming.... milking him instead removes all pleasure, it's a very effective punishment.

Or milking can be his only form of release, for those in a more extreme FLR, where she wants total and complete control of him.

As always, use milking as it works for you.

No FLR is the same, these are just tools to create your own unique FLR the way it suits you and your partner.

Check out the Practical FLR book series...

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