“The Pain You Endure Is Not A Total Waist Of Energy Or Obstruction Of Progress ... Such Pressures Create

GO WEIGHTLESS

Grasping for your energy right now... to pull over me like a thin blanket, and curl up in our magic... laying before a fan gently blowing fantasies across my mind... beneath a ceiling that displays the dancing ambient flickers of this candle - scented “The Best of Us”...

Let my desires be a pillow for your mind to rest on... the rhythm of my touch to lullaby your anxieties... the whispered ramblings of my love for you keeps your body afloat and boyant on a bed of continual beloved becomings... the gentle sincerity of each kiss i place on your forehead remind you that this dream is real... and each kiss of your lips takes your breath as you go weightless...

-Pati3ntWo1f (08192020)

Be my E

Be my ecstasy

Quicken the pace of my heart

Lightly dress confidence over my vulnerability

Just enough

Lead me to get lost

In the sensation of your touch

Timeless these moments

Ours

Tempt me to obsess, ensensed

How gooooood you feel against my skin

Every sound you make

A cascading serenade

With my heart, my thoughts, my body

I dance

Swayed by you

-Pati3ntWo1f

Lead you... to Us.

- - - - - - > us < - - - - - -

You cross my mind everyday

I want what comes next

An awakening release

I want that too

Two givers: Giving intent-fully, purposefully.

Two givers: Reciprocating, Appreciating.

Two givers: Learning to be selfish with one another, selflessly spoiling the other...

(with attention, detail, effort, ease, complimentary being - being me bringing myself to the complimentary degree necessary to balance with thee and always bring us the complete 360)

... After you.

So ready

And waiting, patiently

And wishing, anxiously

I need my turn to hear it...

To earn the emphatics of how i’ve compelled you to say it - To hear you make it yours...

(Then exceed those limits together as you give me a name of your own... And known words lose their worth, when compared to the value of how we are sharing our minds, bodies, energy, ourselves... We create a new language unique to us, written in passion, uttered in pleasure, understood spiritually, experienced entirely)

... Soft voices because we are always so close,

Countless smiles because your presence brings me joy,

An endless hug... always enwrapped in eachother... be it fingers, lips, arms, legs, bodies, minds or souls.

Any combos they can produce, We will surely create more.

Lemme please you beyond request?

I’ll lead you there...

... to Us.

(And the place where we defy time and space and self... Where our love making is an evokation of greater truths within ourselves... As my intent drips from my lips and is whispered into your flesh... as our rythm and intensity satisfy and soothe you into being in two places at once - As one flesh with me, And of the guided meditation I'm speaking into your skin... somewhere between your collarbone and where your jawline meets the lobe of your ear).

-Pati3ntWo1f (07262020)

Well…

Just bathe in my praises. Soak in them. Let them warm, rinse, clean… play in it, rest in it… submerge yourself at will, float on a whim, dip whichever and all the parts of you on a want. Praises will keep flowing from my lips. My well of expression will never run dry. It’s yours!

- pati3ntwolf (07092023)

To the present day “Joanna”s:

On behalf of those with your ear and not your attention; towards the benefit of those with your attention and its spoils; for your health and happiness; because of our unheard desires: see thyself as those with your ear do -beautifully badass. Let not your heart wander so far as you to forget that... for those with your ear turn to whispers the farther away you drift, and those whose possess your attention are not promised to be attentive.

Don’t lose sight of yourself; nobody in this world is worth you losing your shit. There’s no reason to act jealous, be possessive, and allow yourself to become sad and desperate. If someone doesn’t like you, who fucking cares? Find one who does. If your significant other makes you feel like shit — they’re fucking shit — bury them in a sandbox, forget about ‘em, and move on. Don’t be like Joanna of Castile. Don’t ruin your life and your reputation with insecure obsession . . . Born in 1479, Joanna (Spanish spelling, “Juana”) was the third child of Queen Isabella of Castile and King Ferdinand II of Aragon. But this royal privilege didn’t stop her from working hard to improve herself. As a young woman, she spoke six languages, excelled in religious studies, was active in equestrian sports, played music, and could dance with the best of them. Plain and simple, Joanna was a fucking badass. She was smart AND beautiful; this obviously attracted the attention of men. And, in 1496, she married Philip of Habsburg, also known as “Philip the Handsome.” Seriously, the dude’s nickname was PHILIP THE HANDSOME — are you fucking kidding me? He must have looked like Idris Elba and Ryan Gosling had a baby the height of Dwayne The Rock Johnson. My point, even Philip’s handsome ass wasn’t worth “losing it." But, Joanna couldn’t resist, she let her imagination get the best of her and became paranoid that he was going to cheat. Her insecurities intensified and her mental instability grew evermore apparent around the kingdom. She was like a fucking vulture, constantly swarming over Philip, checking his iPhone, and demanding his email passwords. Needless to say, it was sad to watch. She was once such a smart, intelligent, confident woman. Not even Philip’s surprise death in 1506 quelled her insecurities. She wouldn’t allow nuns to approach his corpse before his burial — afraid he’d put his ghost boner in one of them. In the end, Joanna of Castile became known as “Joanna the Mad,” leaving behind a reputation of being pathetically jealous, instead of beautifully badass. Well, you just learned some fucking history. You’re welcome. Now, enjoy your Sunday, you beautiful idiots. #SUNDAYSCHOOL

Statement of Intent

You okay if I take some of that weight on my shoulders and I intent-fully commit myself to your honest expression - as a form of homage to self, respect, recognition, reverence, release, restructure, renew, reenergize, … and potentially so many other plusses that there can be no minus….? May I? Yes?

Statement of My Intentions:

I intend to not pressure but be an available reminder. I intend to not burden but to ease. I intend to not limit or define or expect. I intend to accompany, to balance, to provide presence and mutuality. I intend to do more by doing less. I intend to serve and not be served. I intend to stand in the gaps where i fit and be a reinforcing echo of your own intentions. I intend to be weightless but felt as support, safety, encouragement, reassurance. I intend to be complimentary and accepting of you as you are, however you are, wherever you are (in mind or spirit or emotion) at any given time.

- pati3ntwo1f (080322)

Retracing: I miss you too

I trust that upon a kiss i will taste a flavor that i have unknowingly longed for all my life.

That upon a hug i will feel the comfort my mother always wished for me.

That i will smell of you a scent from my last and our future.

And that i will feel... while interlocked with your body, your skin...

The meaning of Heaven on Earth, the fruitfulness of milk and honey and something promised, the vastness of our potential and the lack of limits before US... i will feel our destiny.

-Pati3ntWo1lf

#pati3ntwo1lf

Continue to enjoy your immediacy, your wanted moments, your convenient satisfactions, your less offered infatuations, you right now

Although the statement of “the whole world does not revolve around you” is a truthful statement... its delivery and sentiment is bestowed upon one as spiteful and controlling and imposing on one’s motivations... therefore I intentionally repeat:

Continue to Enjoy Your Immediacy, Your Wanted Moments, Your Convenient Satisfactions, Your Less Offered Infatuations, YOU, Right Now!!!

-Pati3ntWo1f

“It is like I have a cast over my heart, and a sling to hold it in place. Hidden. Unseen behind the smiles and jest and seemingly well wishes and responses. And there are the special ones… that somehow seem to sign the cast - leaving their mark, with no intent to stay or return when I heal… if I heal.”

-Pati3ntWo1f (03102020)

Cray… how a few typed words spark anticipation’s all-be-it accepted agony

I’m feeling her shadow

Again…

Anticipation is blind to Surprise and on sight, I was

Brain willing my body to “be cool. Be cool. Ice cold.”

While My heart beat accelerates “0 to 100 real quick”

I no longer break eye contact for your preference but for my own… prescription, to dull the extent of my vulnerability

Already lost in time, and dismay - 100% felt, 0% displayed… i should know better

The words thought for me are empty aught to be. Actions prove accordingly. Always have and will always be. If its not Mutual than there’s no Treason… yet myWants needs no Reason… to keep believing, my hopeless dreaming

Ripping the bandaid I walk away to step outside and see the sky acting as my eyes cannot. But feel as they could.

Its not sadness. Nah… it is. But its not, tho. It not the outcome drives my eyes to envy the sky right now…

It is my fault, my fallacy, my fiction… It is

The excess of my excessiveness…

Of these feelings.

-pati3ntwo1f (032822)