smallnotsorry

Latest Posts by smallnotsorry

i am so fucking close to deleting my blog because i have 6 activity notifications that won't go away when i KNOW i don't have any interactions on my goddamn blog

my god i have never felt anything more strongly in my life rn

"YOU ARE MISINTERPRETING HIM" starter pack

sir that’s my emotional support cowboy 

it’s a little pitchy, and there is no accompaniment (just straight up acapella) because i recorded this on a whim in the bathroom on my phone right before i took a shower. enjoy!

I used to have geese so here’s a tip for everyone:

If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count

The enjoyment I get from removing the wax packaging from a lil cheese wheel is immediately aligned with entertainment zoo animals get when they have to solve a puzzle or get into a box to find a treat. I’m just an ape and the babybel cheese people are my enrichment team

I can’t help imaging Jason and Tim doing this because they are perfect for the roles👌

i’ll stop making hamlet memes when i’m dead

Headcanon where all of the Avengers assume that Bucky was the one who used to get Steve into trouble during the pre-war and war days, but within 3 days of Bucky joining the team they all realize that it is actually the exact opposite.

Guys, from now on DC will be changing future prints of Batman: Damned #1 to censor out Batman’s d*ck, but the joke’s on them now because Batman’s d*ck is going to become a collector’s item. 

Printed copies of bat-dk are going to be selling for $35,000 a pop on ebay soon, it’s going to be absolute mayhem. Invest in Bat-d*ck if you can and invest in your future. Buy up every issue in your local comic store. Let Batman’s d*ck pay for your children’s college tuition. It’s what Batman would want.

dragon age + out of context D&D quotes // 05 

Character Headcanon: Poor Master Dennet

You know, I always feel a little sorry for Master Dennet. The Inquisitor is like, hey, I need a horse expert! Here is a horse expert! And he comes along to be your horse expert.

And for a while all is well. He brings his own fine horses, and the Inquisitor adds to the stable as she finds new breeding stock—often excellent. Where she got the charger from, he doesn’t know, and he feels too honored by having it in his care to ask.

And then the Inquisitor starts coming back with like… deer. And Dennet scratches his head, because he knows horses, and just because it has four hooves and you can put a saddle on it doesn’t make it a horse. Hell, the food and space and exercise requirements for a cob and a draft horse aren’t the same—a goddamn deer is presumably completely different. But he goes around Skyhold rounding up Dalish elves until he finds one who knew something about halla, on the principle that that’s probably the closest thing, and they work it out. (He’s always respected the way Dalish treat their halla, so it’s not that big of a leap. And even though Dalish—the Charger—doesn’t know anything much about how to raise halla, he looks the other way when she wants to spend half a day in the deer’s box stall being all affectionate at it. Can’t hurt.)

But deer of various kinds are at least still… well… grass-eating hoofed animals. Things don’t begin to really go sideways until they bring back the first dracolisk.

It’s a lizard. It’s a giant meat-eating lizard. Dennet is a master of horse, and he will stretch that to deer in a pinch, but asking him to figure out the care and feeding of big spiky lizard things is a bit much. It is—he tries to explain, first to Cullen and then to Josephine and finally to the Inquisitor herself—as if someone had decided that because you knew how to knead bread, you were obviously a master pugilist, because both things involved punching things. For his trouble he got a friendly clap on the shoulder and a “Just do your best! We can free up some funds to hire you more help!” (help from where? was he to hang up fliers somewhere for dracolisk handlers? where exactly was one supposed to go for that?).

(We will not even discuss the zombie horse with a sword through its head. We will not. The zombie horse got a stall to itself and was studiously ignored, on the principle that it was dead, and not much Dennet did could either help or hurt it.)

Dennet knew that he was in over his head and then some when the Inquisitor showed up with a charming grin and a giant fucking nug, and all he thought was, “Better see if any dwarves know what to feed it.” (Dagna does, but he’s a little afraid because she keeps having these ideas for ‘experimental feed,’ and….)

At least his life is never boring.

bipolarmage:

theevanuris:

When you free the Mages and you watch the disapproval roll in

“Call Me Maybe” with every other beat removed

asfhkgj please tell me no one else has thought of this yet

i know jaskier is decently well known in canon but like... HOW well known? because i keep imagining geralt being like "oh yeah and this is my traveling companion" and you look and it's just like the fantasy equivalent of beyonce

The Witcher but a sitcom is a concept I enjoy very much

to my fellow black folk: we lost an actual superhero, and it feels like it. It's perfectly okay to feel distraught, sadness, emotional at that loss. I know being black is hard when it comes to what feels like consistent, communal trauma. it's okay to take a breather and feel- you don't have to always feel "strong". We're all here. ✊🏾❤️

(you can, and please, share if you're not black, but don't dare start no discourse in my comments)

I hardly see any heroic posts about Muslims on here, so here you go.

Arthur’s back tho, can I get an amen

I guess it is

geralt @ anyone about to harm jaskier: excuse me, sir, that is my emotional support bard

Judge: We find you guilty, the sentence is death. You'll be hung at dawn.

Jaskier from the back of the room: HE'S ALREADY HUNG

Geralt: Your honor, uncuff me so I can punch my bard.

ONE TIME I WAS ATTENDING A BALL AT A FAE COURT AND EVERYONR WAS WEARING BALLGOWNS MADE OF WINTER AND SORROW AND SHIT LIKE THAT BUT THEN I SAW A FAE LORD WEARING A TACKY 90S WINDBREAKER AND SPATS AND I KNEW WE WOULD BE FRIENDS

Big female gargoyle protects nuns in turn take care of her 👀

being touchstarved makes u absolutely buckwild when someone does smth simple like .share a chair with u

Goodnight kisses from my little bunny 

(via)