If You’re Constantly Doubting Who God Is, It’s Because You’re Allowing Life To Speak Louder Than

Wise things my sister has told me (friendship edition)

You hurt so much in friendships because you are more invested in it than they are or they care to be. Not everyone considers friendship to be such a precious and important relationship in their life and you need to be aware of that before you open your heart to people. 

When someone is being vulnerable with you, it says more about you than it does about them. It shows that you make them feel comfortable and like it’s a safe space and that you will not judge them or go around spreading rumours. They trust you. Because you are a trustworthy and emotionally mature person. 

You don’t need to have a huge showdown sort of confrontation with someone before deciding to distance yourself from them. You can decide that in your own head. Since you are neither ghosting them nor turning on them, you are not required to talk it out. You are simply toning down your affection towards them because now you see them for who they are. 

You need more people in your life who see you as an equal. And that can only happen when they are not so severely insecure. Insecurity comes out in two ways. One, where they put you down, are cocky and entitled and selfish. They think they are better than you. These are commonly recognized as narcissistic traits. But the second way is less known. It is when they are low on self-confidence and compare everything you do with what they do and then secretly try to copy that and never even acknowledge it. It is when they try to suck you dry, take everything they can from you to become ‘better’ and then pretend like you don’t exist. 

People who really know me knows that I process information slowly and forget it very fast as well.

intangible - madisen kuhn

The number of times I've changed my ringtone to make it peaceful is insane.

The moment I hear my ringtone, all the peace and silence leaves me with the coming onset of dread and anxiety.

If you’re an adult, be your own parent

A very simple yet effective substitute for parental affection and approval is finding those within yourself. I know, this guru-type preaching annoys the crap out of you, but there’s no way of putting it simpler. I guess it can be the final stage of personal individuation/separation, becoming a whole and independent thinking organism (in most situations). When I passed this stage, I was no longer looking for approval and appraisal, critics didn’t make me mad, because I wasn’t a girl trying to please her parents with excellent marks or provoke their anger with smoking. I was an adult, never willing to get back even to my 20’s, when my frontal lobe was far from being in a full swing. Accepting responsibility for your own life also helps raise an inner parent. If you don’t take care of yourself, no one will. You can feel weak for an hour, a day or a week, but things won’t start getting better until you do something. The inner voice that is telling you should quit smoking, cut sugar, wear fair-trade cotton or simply stay true to yourself, is your inner parent, is the essence of you to be cultivated.

- Ana Goldberg on Is It Okay To Not Love Your Parents

ETIQUETTE

The is your guide to ettiquite in daily life. Whether it’s table manners, or just everyday mannerisms that you can pick up.

BASIC ETIQUETTE

Let this sink in, be yourself. You are worthy of being treated courteously

A fundamental rule of good manners is to give. When you meet someone, it’s always good to think of a genuine compliment.

Don’t be boastful, arrogant, or loud. When in polite company, always exercise self control and good taste

Speak with kindness, but also speak with caution. This includes over sharing, being too critical. Your behaviour and even your clothing should reflect understated elegance.

Demeaning someone with a rude joke or an unwelcome nickname is disrespectful and should be avoided (being around those you’re close with that’s the norm of course).

TABLE ETIQUTTE

If you are someone’s guest, you must wait for a signal before sitting

If you are a host, point out chairs for your guest.

If you are sitting with someone who is left handed, it’s best that they sit on the left end or the head of the table.

Before eating, it’s best to wait until everyone has there food. However, if there’s a surplus of people, wait for the host to begin to eat.

Remember , used silverware should NEVER touch the table, have them rest in your plate. On that point, it is best to order food that can be eaten with a knife and fork in formal dining.

If you must leave, always excuse yourself.

PUBLIC SPEAKING

of course this can work with just general conversation, but these are the best tips I know.

Get some rest. When your energy level is compromised, you may struggle to deliver a concise message.

Inject humour. It will be helpful as presenting yourself as relatable.

Stay mindful of the sound of your own voice.

Pay attention to signals, tbhs can include not responding, backing away, looking away, body language is the feedback you need when you’re not sure when to stop talking about something.

THE DONT’S OF ETIQUETTE

Texting constantly, or checking your phone

Using R-rated language in a G-rated environment

Telling off-colour jokes

Interrupting or monopolising the conversation

Acting like a know it all

Gossip- I know it’s hard not to indulge, but this is one of the most dangerous things to do.

And to work hard, it includes self-discipline and consistency.

“Difficult doesn’t mean impossible. It simply means you have to work hard.”

— Unknown

“Don’t you dare fucking touch my heart unless you plan to stay.”

— Unknown