3d Blog - Blog Posts

I'm fat why am I still fat

Oh it's cuz I eat food like the fucking fat ass I am I fucking hate food and I need to be skinnyyyyyyyy

Was trying to read a book while pacing around my room but a couple pages in I realized just how heavy that thing was like okay, may not be the best to read while walking then, but also how am I supposed to read all that? Ugh

I've been trying to read more lately, because I always thought it was a bit of a waste of time really (I just sit around and do nothing even remotely productive, especially when it's novels I'm reading (I'm trying to get myself a couple scientific books now though so that I'll also feel like I am really doing something for my brain and interests then)) but then I got myself a digital watch and I've really started paying attention to my steps and work outs now and I got the brilliant idea of "what if I read during that?"

My neck is not thanking me. The books are not thanking me. I am NOT thanking me. But it's cool! It's books, after all.

And I used to read a lot as a kid, but that was because I got bullied (especially about my body) and literally had nothing else to do during break time back then because no one wanted to hang out with the fatty kid. Anyway, and that's one of the reasons I kind of stopped reading novels, but now I'm getting back into it!

I know that's a random ass lost but whatever. I don't even plan to write that much, I just wanted to tell you about my heavy book and then the words just started flowing lol

"If you lose some weight you'll fit into that!"

-My 10 year old sister to me as we were looking for outfits to wear at a special event

Like... bitch. But you're right. And no, you weren't "just kidding". It's fine. It's fine. It's FUCKING FINE.

Just gonna do some red paintings on my legs later is all. It's fine.

Just tried that light green/paradise monster and it reminds of me those apple gummy bears I used to eat as a kid? Idk it's just kinda sweet and not my favourite but I think it's definitely drinkable

I mean it for sure makes me kinda nostalgic - I mean these gummy bears made me (among sooo many other things) a fatty little kid and then I got bullied and then there were Mom and Grandma's comments and you know how the story goes lol.

Yeah... the good ol' days

(The more I'm sipping in that monster rn though the more I like it so I guess 7/10???) lol no one asked for a monster review yet here I am

(Can you tell I'm fucking bored?)

I binged the FIFTH FUCKING DAY IN A ROW.

Holy shit. I feel so ashamed for even typing this and I don't know how or why I could let that happen. And I could've restricted so easily, too, yesterday and today because my parents were at work and I was home alone with my siblings, but NOOO I had to fucking...

I haven't even weighed myself but I'm sure it's going to be awful when I do, especially since I've been doing so well before (I've lost a lot of weight and haven't binged for a relatively long time). I've probably ruined all the progress of the past weeks.

I'm going to fucking change now. I don't think today can be saved honestly, even if I at least counted most of my calories and compared to the other days, it wasn't as bad, but I'm still going to get in my steps and then I'll be fucking DONE with binging. Thankfully, we'll soon visit my Grandma and on travel days I can fast usually, so I'm going to absolutely use that as sort of catalyst for finally locking in again, but of course I'm going to start RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

I can't go back to school after Easter break having gained like 5kg or something, not when we have so many swimming classes atm and all my friends were calling me skinny and complimenting my waist. I still have a week and a half to lock in and lose weight and I'm going to use it.

In the second week, only my sister and I will be home for a couple of days and maybe I'll even try to fast through all of them (depending on how much school work I'll have left to do then)

So yeah, sorry for rambling but I do feel slightly better now because of it

my first meal of the day lmao

i also ate a kinder pinguin which my friend forced me to eat </3

I can’t believe I am so bad at this!

More than three years of restricting, cal counting and p/urging for the most normal ass physic and a minimum weight loss.

I hate it so much!

I have been eating and p/urging all day today! I need to be stopped.

Just found out about this girl, who also has 4n4. she is 18 and 37kg.

I am so fucking jealous!

Send me some questions if you like, I have to distract myself somehow :))

I know I’m not big, but am I in danger of flying away by wind? 🌬️

( Then you better stop calling me skinny )

A quick update of why I haven’t been posting a lot for the past days.

Basically I have been dealing with 3d as usual. On top of that I have my that red week of the month and it always makes me really emotional and I feel every emotion x10 of the normal days. I have been feeling really numb and have no motivation, but have to also study for my exams too and been going to the library with friends.

Anyway! How are you all doing? :))

Is my blog making it worse for people?

Are minor seeing what I post and get triggered?

I have been thinking about it and it’s now my nightmare.

When I made my account I just wanted a safe space to talk about my 3d and my thoughts. Now I feel guilty that I may be a bad influence!

I don’t need a normal appearance.

I don’t need a standard weight.

I don’t need an ideal physique.

I need to look sick and dead.

I need to be underweight.

I need to be skin and bones.

Worst feeling is, when you go on the scale with clothes on and think maybe the number is high because of the clothing.

So you take them off and go on the scale again, but turns out you are actually that f4t. 🐋

Ass tire zero calorie drinks in my humble opinion:

1. Pink redbull zero

2. Black coffee ☕️

3. Weird ass tea flavors 🫖🍵 (like wtf is a panda poop tea or a butterfly pea flower tea? 😐)

4. Diet Coke🥤, now this might be controversial, but since Coke Zero exists you don’t have to drink that sh!t no more. Coke Zero tastes much better. They are actually more difficult to find too, at least where I live.

I get lot’s of notifications. Non of them are interactions. I feel like my blogs reach people, but nobody interacts more than a like!?

I love when people comment (not them crazy ones).

I ate like a 🐄 yesterday. Had half a packet of chips. A tiny itty bitty piece of cake. Some cucumber salad snd them at midnight right before sleep I had two egg sandwiches.

If only I haven’t eaten those sandwiches at night, I wouldn’t be this fat and bloated this morning :((

I’m gonna do a f4st today.

I can’t stop thinking about the cake sitting in my kitchen. It seems like it is calling to me and I can’t ignore the temptation.

I picture myself shoveling spoon after spoon into my mouth—mindless, desperate—until there’s nothing left but crumbs and shame.

Even just imagining it makes my chest tighten. My throat aches, my eyes sting, and a wave of nausea curls in my stomach.

Could they not gift a basket of fruits instead of chocolate ? 🍓

All I need is -5kg

Is it too much to ask for??

Got back to 50kg -_-

Should I end it or what?

This is literally how I’ll look like in bikinis this summer.

How I be looking like in 3dblrr

Does anyone have tips on how to burn muscle? I have really high muscle percentage in comparison to fat percentage and I feel like it is way more difficult to burn muscle :((

Have to study for my exams. Probably not gonna be online much.

Nobody does it as good as the slavic Queens.

They always are so skinny and pretty ✨🎀

Started a f4st. I‘m gonna increase the duration every time the last one is filled, starting by 13 hours :))

Hopefully this will help! Gonna update later.

I need someone to tie me up to my bed and I don’t mean in a k!nky way.

I just don’t want to go to the kitchen again 😭