Your personal Tumblr journey starts here
Sigma: I want to hear you say the words I want you to say.
Nikolai: I love you?
Sigma: No.
Nikolai: *Pouts* I’ll behave at the meeting and not try and kill Fyodor.
Sigma: Thank you.
Nikolai: *Finishes brutally murdering someone* And yet I still feel nothing. *Eye twitches*
To the people that like the incorrect quotes.
Yes I am aware of what is going on in the story. These are incorrect quotes. These are not canon these are just fun little things. Also I ship everyone with everyone. I am not picking favorites. Please be kind to the shippers of the group they ship. If they ship X with X okay that’s fine. If they ship X with their OC it’s okay. They are fictional characters named after IRL authors. Please understand that this account is for fun. It does not fully follow the time line nor am I saying what I write is canon.
~Kira~
Dazai: I try to be a good lover.
Chuuya: He got my boss to convince me to dress up like a vampire to trick an anemic bastard into thinking I was on his side. He then proceeded to try and drown me with said bastard.
Dazai: Yeah well you shot me.
Kunikida: WHY ARE YOU TWO IN MY APARTMENT?! ITS 3 AM IN THE MORNING!
Come October I will be making incorrect quotes for spooky month.
Also not putting many tags on this. Don’t wanna bug people when they search for a character.
~Kira~
Chuuya: I just want to be held and loved.
Akutagawa: Didn’t you just punch Dazai after he hugged you?
Chuuya: I said I wanted to be loved, not assaulted.
Sigma: Nikolai. Your lover is immortal and you only reincarnate when they stop thinking about you. One day you die and reincarnate. What is your first thought?
Nikolai: You forgot me Fedya?
Fyodor: why did you immediately assume I am your immortal lover?
Nikolai: *cuddling Sigma* this is the first time I got to be intimate with someone that didn’t run away from me. Even Dostoy has escaped my advances.
Sigma: UNTIE ME RIGHT NOW NIKOLAI!
Nikolai: Shush. You’re ruining the moment.
*after dinner*
Atsushi, confused: what are you doing Ryuu?
Akutagawa: planting the tails of shrimps to grow them into new ones
Atsushi: h-how is that possible?
Akutagawa: Dazai-san taught me this, it is going to work, you will see.
Atsushi: you can't believe him he was ly---
Chuuya, shuts Atsushi's mouth: don't say things that will discourage a child and stop their imagination
Atsushi: but he is just wasting his time!
Chuuya, shaking his head: let him experiment and find the truth out himself, it's a learning experience for him.
Atsushi: w-where are you going now?
Chuuya: to beat the shit out of Dazai
Atsushi: understandable.
Dazai, slamming his glass: why doesn't he love me, dammit!
Oda: maybe you should calm down a little; following him around and spying on him would come off as creepy to him.
Ango, massaging his temples: I have no idea how you haven't gotten arrested for spying!
Dazai: maybe because we are fucking criminals that work in the Mafia, Ango? I don't think Chuuya would report ME to the police of all people....
Oda: what if he reports you to the boss?
Dazai: the boss is the one who gave me the idea of spying on Chuuya to get his attention! He has been helping me all along!
Oda:......
Ango: that sounds like him.
*Meanwhile*
Chuuya: that idiot mackerel has been following me around for a week! Can you stop him?
Mori: interesting, have you thought of giving in and going out with him?
Chuuya: of course no----wait a minute! THAT'S your question? Shouldn't you stop that crazy ass behaviour?
Mori: I have decided to send you two on a joint mission to Hawaii....for a month.
Chuuya: huh? What will we do there? Have a honeymoon?
Mori:....
Chuuya: NOOOOO
Dazai: We're like a big happy family! And I am the dad, and Kunikida's the mom!
Kunikida: why am I the mom? What gender roles are we pushing here?
Atsushi: I know they are probably thinking I am the son. But I am not. I will be the gay emo cousin.
Junichiro: I will be the son, that hotshot whose only dream is...to be a star✨
Ranpo: I feel like I'll be a fresh out of jail uncle
Yosano: and I am the sassy aunt, who talks shit about everyone
Chuuya, singing in the kareoke: I wanna key his car, I wanna make him lunch
Dazai, whispering to Atsushi: Chuuya sounds so desperate
Chuuya: I wanna break his heart and be the one to stitch it up
Dazai: .....wait
Chuuya: Wanna kiss his face
*Dazai, smirks*
Chuuya, making a fist: with an uppercut
Dazai: oh no....
Chuuya: I wanna meet his mom, to tell her, her son sucks!!!
*ADA and PM laughing in the background*