Your personal Tumblr journey starts here
As someone who really struggles with unclear rules/concepts, being a system is a very difficult idea to grasp or accept personally. Every few years I go through a cycle of denial and then rediscovery and exploration that eventually I get frustrated with and abandon. Perhaps it's a lack of self assurance in myself. Whatever it is, I hope this time is different somehow.
It's hard to do the difficult thing when it's much easier to just continue trudging along in a fog.