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I shouldn't be so wrapped up in this, I'm aware.
In about a month, I'm quitting the studio and packing up my bag for Canada. The Air Force awaits....
I should be proud to have ties to RCAF. I should be ecstatic about following my Dad's footsteps, and his Dad's footsteps....and his Dad's footsteps...wait does that even make sense? Whatever, pretty sure it does.
I was once an Air Cadet. What the hell did I expect? Never go to the Air Force? Yeah, right.
I should be proud. Brave. And......Oh to hell with this!!
Why won't he be proud of me? What do I have to do? Lead a bunch of P-51 mustangs and P-40 Kittyhawks into battle? Like heck I would!
I just......
I just want him to be proud of me.
I joined Boy scouts to impress him. I joined Air Cadets to impress him. I made ties here in New York by myself. I......
Am I......
Good enough?
If I go to war and die like a hero......
Would he finally love me?
Proud to call me his son?