Ngl I Lost Count Of How Many Of These I've Reblogged Today... Eh It's Fine

Everybody know the scene in The Dark Knight where some idiot dresses like Batman and Bruce gets real pissed at him. Well it goes a little something like this:

Copycat Batman: What’s the difference between you and me!?

Batman: I’m not wearing hockey pads.

Alternatively:

Copycat Nightwing: What’s the difference between you and me!?

Nightwing: CAN YOU DO THIS? *insane quadruple flip off the roof with his middle finger out.*

Obviously not Red Hood: What’s the difference between you and me!?

Red Hood: I died.

Copycat Red Hood, mumbling: well obviously not.

Red Hood, cocking his gun: Wanna change that?

Copycat Red Robin: What’s the difference between you and me!?

Red Robin: Spandex isn’t usually something I wear on the regular. And that latex cowl isn’t doing you any favours either. While we’re at it- [proceeds to roast the shit out of the copycat until they’re begging him to stop. He doesn’t.]

Copycat Robin: What’s the difference between you and me!?

Robin, unsheathing his Katana: Run.

Copycat Robin: What?

Robin: If you care for your life you will know to flee. I will not give you another warning.

jason [monologuing]: — after me there aren’t any other robins hurt at the hands of the joker, and i intend to keep it that way

tim [remembering the joker junior incident]: sure…

jason: wdym by that replacement?.. robin? tim what are you talking about!??

Ah.... yeah that's ummmm yeah

The gasp I just gusped upon remembering that Dick was not mentally in a good place right before Damian died, and Damian knew it. So then for Damian to come back to life and to be told that Dick is dead... I can only imagine what his initial assumption must have been.

Imagine being Alfred during Batman Begins when Bruce leaves to “find himself.” Alfred is worried, but reminds himself that all rich men do this and he’s probably just going to come back as a worldly, obnoxious vegetarian. Then Bruce shows up several years later buff as hell and it’s like no, he’s a ninja. he’s a ninja and he wants to terrorize Gotham in a bat costume.

Starting to think a cooler headcanon for Clark’s upbringing might just be that the entire town of Smallville collectively decided to just go with it and accept that Martha and John's kid has superpowers, but we don't talk about it.

Someone's tractor gets stuck and nothing can get it out? "Be a dear and run down to the Kents, would you? Ask for Clark?"

"Why Clark, we need a machine--"

"Run along now."

Or if he kicks too hard and the football vanishes into the upper stratosphere, no it didn't, we all collectively saw it land over there *vague hand movements*

This happens a lot actually

Penelope: What kind of things did you do?

Odysseus proceeds to lay out all he did without lying and asks an important: Would you love me again, I'm not the man you knew?

Penelope: Did you... Did you sleep with specific women? I'm kind of cool if you did, eh.

Odysseus: I got trapped on an island with this crazy woman and she wouldn't let me leave. My moves weren't my own, she was a goddess and basically female Zeus... I was scared everyday and almost killed myself numerous times just to be home.

Penelope (thinking): Oh my Gods he's being completely honest with me. I actually have the best man for this time period.

After bed scene...

Penelope: Twenty years ain't nothing, we still young. Want to go out on a first date?

Odysseus (tears flowing): Yes... I would like that very much.

Aphrodite: I'm not crying, you are!

Ares (eating popcorn): I kind of am.

Bruce, knowing Tim went out as RR when he was meant to be benched: do you have something to tell me, chum?

Tim, half asleep and drooling in his tea: sometimes Cassie and Kon make me curl into a ball and then use me as a baseball to play catch with while Bart stands in the middle and tries to catch me first.

Bruce: ….

Bruce: what.

Tim: they call me ‘piggy in the middle’

Bruce: …

Tim: somehow Bart never catches me but I think it’s only because he’s laughing so much.

Bruce, completely forgetting about Tim patrolling: I… I don’t know what to do with this information.

Why.... why can I see this happening?

Fake it till you make it, Star City Kitchen edition.

Danny, outed to the government as a ghostly entity, is not only wanted by the government but unable to find work because of that.

Sam gave him money to help him escape, but an unfortunate run in with more than one gang of meta traffickers blew through that in an instant.

He needs a job. He needs to find a place to sleep.

He decides to answer an ad in a newspaper, for a personal chef for an unnamed person. Is it sketchy? Yes. Is it very likely to be under the table with no government checks? Also yes.

Besides, if it turns out to be someone bad, he can just go invisible and disappear for a bit. It'll be...unfortunate, cuz he'll have to steal what he needs, but it's doable.

He arrives at the meeting place, and there's a car waiting to pick him up.

Okay.

He gets in the car. Secondary location, here he comes.

It drives to a mansion.

Oh no.

It's Oliver Queen.

Oliver Queen put up that ad.

Oliver Queen takes one look at him, hums, and says that Danny is absolutely what he was looking for. That Danny just looks like how a chef should look.

Five minutes later, Danny finds himself in a kitchen larger than his old house, internally panicking and scrolling as fast as he can through cooking lessons on youtube.

Turns out, Danny's got a knack for cooking.

Like, he's actually pretty phenomenal at it.

If the food isn't trying to come back to life and eat him, once he's got the basics down, it's pretty easy to throw together a meal.

~~~~~~

Oliver, sleep deprived and injured, meant to ask Stan to make him something to eat.

Somehow he failed step one of just texting the man, and ended up reaching out to and placing an ad in a local newspaper for a personal chef.

Naturally, when someone answers it, he decides to get them over to his place so he can apologize for his stupidity and pay them the money they lost wasting time going to him.

Except that's a kid.

A dirty, unkempt, homeless teenager.

And...fuck.

Look, Oliver isn't a complete and total jackass, and it's not like the kid can mess up much if he's in the kitchen, of all places.

So he pretends like the ad is legit. Throws the kid in the kitchen.

Accidentally finds out that the kid wasn't fucking lying about being a good chef that was out of practice, holy shit? This food is so good????

Looks into the kid's background, quietly.

...

And in true Green Arrow fashion, uncovers a government conspiracy.

The biggest omission is that they were not shown at the wedding of Hiccup and Astrid, even as a cameo. Hello? Heather is her best friend.