Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life / Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Idiot / Donna Tartt, The Secret History
bsd 123 has some insane moments but i genuinely think this is the craziest.
like, yes, this is about how atsushi helped akutagawa realise that dazai’s word is not something he can rely on, and that dazai’s validation is not a reason to live—but it’s not the only thing to take away.
firstly, this is the first time that akutagawa has realised that somebody believes in him. this person hated him, didn’t get along with him, fought him to the death on more than one occasion, saw the worst of him, yet still believes in him. atsushi believes in him enough to bring back his consciousness, and to try and do it twice. atsushi believes in him enough to reassure him often, even if it doesn’t feel like reassurance all the time. atsushi believes in him enough to protect him, even though akutagawa has been the protector his entire life.
secondly, i don’t believe that atsushi has now become akutagawa’s reason to live from this panel. akutagawa thinks about two things after his epiphany that dazai’s words don’t hold the same weight anymore. the first is his promise to atsushi, and what that means to him. the second is atsushi’s words about true strength—which akutagawa realises he now has. it’s not about a reason to live anymore, but that akutagawa has someone who believes in him and because of that, he feels alive.
this panel isn’t about akutagawa’s mentality shifting. it’s about him finally finding his strength and fighting for something that he, and not anybody else, thinks is right. he’s hoping. he’s caring. he’s understanding. he’s strong. he’s alive.
Kati Horna, Historia de un Vampiro, Sucedió en Coyoacán, Coyoacán, Ciudad de México, 1962
Jonathan Sims in season four saying “I’ve seen enough.” And taking off his glasses, forgetting his glasses don’t have lenses anymore and he can see fine without them. Joke failed. Day ruined. Please Beholding, he’s seen enough.
ok au where after becoming archivist jon starts getting into the habit of making vent tiktoks in his car after work because tim showed him how and at first he was like “this is stupid” but then it genuinely started helping him decompress so he just kept doing it in secret. and he eventually he gains a minor following who are becoming increasingly concerned because it goes from “the most INSUFFERABLE statement giver came in today” to “i got fucking KIDNAPPED AGAIN!!!”