Latest Posts by staar-fire - Page 6

Maybe I'm just aro, but I always saw the BatCat ship as almost platonic. (Maybe/kinda/sorta friends with benefits?) They mutually beard each other from creeps, golddiggers, and nosy friends/family.

Ex. 1

Bruce: *calls Selina* Gala on Saturday. I need a plus one. I'm sick of airheads.

Selina: Gimme the time and what color dress you think would work best. I'll meet you at your place.

Ex. 2

Selina: Hey, can I use your picture and claim you're my boyfriend to scare off assholes at the bar?

Bruce: Go for it. Call me and I'll tell at them, too.

Ex. 3

Bruce: *leaves meeting* I have a previous engagement.

Clark: Does it involve a certain Cat? ;)

Bruce: Quit prying, its private

Hal: Sure thing, Spooky. You gonna spend the whole time in bed? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Bruce: *glares* I just might.

~Later, at Selina's apartment~

Bruce: *in Selina's bed, dead to the world, having the best nap he's had since becoming a dad*

Selina: *on the couch, with a book and a glass of wine*

Yes Yes Yes

Okay see THIS I do love one hundred percent

I like Selina and I like Bruce, and I love them having these sorts of interactions I just don’t like them as a romantic couple all that much

But this?

*Chef’s Kiss*

I present to you: Hal Jordan’s bald head, ready for slapping

REBLOG TO SLAP HIS BALD HEAD

I see no difference

Damian rn:

Bruce Wayne having to play Fuck, Marry, Kill on a talkshow, except all the options are JL members.

Yall cannot convince me that Bruce active on batman conspiracy boards and general shitster Wayne and Bernard my boyfriend is part of the mafia and robin is actually a drone created by the government Dowd wouldnt become best friends the second they are introduced to each other

So now I want to see how the JL reacts being in the bat cave and seeing all of Damian's pets casually roaming around.

They would be listening to Batman talking seriously about a mission but then Batcow just strolls behind him and no one knew if they were hallucinating or not. Then they see Batcow playing with Alfred the Cat while Titus plays fetch with Goliath at the back.

People think the batfamily wear gloves as to not leave fingerprints. This is incorrect. They actually wear gloves to stop their fingernail polish from chipping.

Why go to therapy when you have this masterpiece?

There are two D's in Jason's name because he comes with two times the drama

i saw your thoughts on harley quinn and bruce wayne/batman becoming besties because they attended med school together. give us more.

okay bruce wayne & harley quinn headcanons:

they were in the same classes at med school and they sat together everywhere for like 3 weeks before they ever talked to each other, because bruce was an edgy bitch and harley was like 'you interrupt me while i'm studying you'll lose a finger'

when bruce adopted dick harley showed up at his doorstep completely unannounced with a t-shirt for dick that said 'my dad dropped out of med school and all i got was this stupid t-shirt'

even after she did a swandive into a pool of hot bleach she still tried to hang out with bruce, but kept getting arrested every time. so she settled for the next best thing: his furry alter ego batman

(yes she knows he's batman, what like it's hard?)

every single time she and the joker get up to some shit, she has a chat with batman, so she can annoy him by psychoanalysing him and calling him a furry, only when he starts psychoanalysing her it's really not fun anymore

when bruce took jason in she sends him a shirt that says 'ask me why my dad dropped out of medschool'

she and the joker are broken up by the time he kills jason and she ties him to the 56th floor of the wayne enterprises building in his underwear

when robin number three rolls around she hand delivers him a t-shirt that says 'inside every strong man is a tinier man that didn't finish med school'

after robbing the gotham zoo of their hyenas she names one bruce and the other ivy, while bruce is flattered, ivy doesn't talk to her for 3 weeks

robin four, also known as girl robin gets a shirt that says 'the reason my boss acts like that is because he didn't finish med school and wants to make it everyone's problem'

robin five doesn't want to accept her gift and tries to arrest her, so she shows up at their door the next day with her 'my father is a 6'0 Gothamite born in February who didn't finish med school' t-shirt. seeing as bruce wasn't home, that gets her arrested.

ivy breaks her out of arkham and harley vows to be her trophy wife. she lasts 3 days before breaking into bruce's house in the middle of the night to steal a cool painting.

bruce just looks at her while she's trying to escape like 'you could've just asked if you wanted that' and they get a drink together.

damian wakes up to find his dad and harley quinn black out drunk talking about that time bruce fell off a roof when they were in med school and let a first year student set his arm.

he wakes up tim and just goes "there is a- jester in our home,"

tim's like "oh you mean harley? yeah i'd been wondering when she'd come around" and just goes back to sleep

(cass gets a 'the only thing worse than a father is a father who didn't finish med school' t-shirt)

(duke gets a 'i aspire to work harder than my father who didn't finish med school' t-shirt)

Teen Bruce pt 2: things I hear at school electric boogaloo

Bruce: *nodding along to a random guy talking about how "he would def suck Brandon's dick as long as he could ensure they would remain bros and not make it gay between them, bc he's not gay and Brandon's not gay so it would be more of a service to Brandon actually, just a favour really-"*

--

Bruce: all I've got is one's in my pocket, I feel like a stripper

--

Bruce: *thinks PSAT is a disease at first*

--

Bruce: what're y'all being for halloween? I'm gonna be a nasty little whore.

--

Bruce @ teen!Harv: really? after all the arson I watched you commit? we're still in the friend zone???

--

Bruce: *watches selina and talia doing something stupid* polyam is a thing. a great, fantastic thing.

Teen Bruce (actually just me projecting lol sorry y'all)

Bruce: *gets thrown a condom in the middle of class by a classmate* wtf do you expect me to do with this???? Like I have a gf??? Or a dick?

--

Bruce, *internally*: Maybe if I sit really still the teacher will forget I'm here and I won't have to take the exam

--

Barbara: what kind of music are ya listening to?

Jason: radio static, because it's the only thing that accurately portrays my thoughts and feelings about this prison of a reality

Bruce: amen kiddo ill drink to that

--

Bruce: this literally tastes like ass

Ollie: how would you know what ass tastes like lol?

Bruce: you've SEEN my snapchat Oliver, figure it out.

--

Bruce, *texting*: alfie pls come pick me up before I eat a fourth orange

Soft Lead

Clark Kent, a cartoonist for the Daily Planet, visits his number one fan, Bruce Wayne, at his home for breakfast.

Edit - Per some requests, this is now available on Gumroad as a PDF! It includes some of the doodles. It is FREE / Pay-What-You-Want.

https://gumroad.com/aluhnim

do people just. forget how nice Bruce is

he has literally done so much

and he may be strict as batman, but he's strict with the justice league too, because he has too, no one else would, and if no one else did they would all fucking die

when I say he makes mistakes I mean not communicating clearly with dick and Jason, making dick feel like he was replaced even though that wasnt his intention, making Jason feel like joker was more important even though that wasnt his intention

Bruce adopted Jason not because he was looking for a new partner, a new kid, but because he saw a kid who needed help and also a need to do more than they're capable of and he can't just leave him be

he does the same to dick, he's not adopting dick to replace his parents, not adopting Jason go replace dick, not adopting Tim to replace Jason

Jason doesn't know yet why Bruce couldn't kill, but he does now

and it pisses me off when people portray Bruce as a shitty person, as a shitty dad

because he's not, and the animated stuff shows that perfectly

kid shows are usually better because they're not shying away from vulnerability and being NICE

I'm all for darker shows but I'm getting really tired of edgy and "mature" content with no emotion other than rage and anger

but that's not what batman is god fucking damnit

and I hate that some of the comics and games and movies fuels this fucking misconception of batman

to throw away Bruce's empathy, his kindness and compassion, is like throwing away his entire fucking character

batman is great BECAUSE of his contradictions, human yet strong, feared yet respected, violent but gentle, striking fear into the criminals of Gotham but providing comfort to the innocent, that is what makes him great.

why do you fucking think he's doing this?????? do you really think he would pour his heart and fucking soul just because ohh haha punching bad guys bad coping mechanism no it's because he fucking CARES. he pours his heart and soul into saving Gotham because he fucking cares. both as Bruce and as batman, he knows he can't do some stuff just as Bruce, on the side of law, because of his fragile public image, and he can't do everything as batman, sometimes he would need to go by the law to fully help, both sides of him are still him, both sides of him are compassionate and full of kindness and he does NOT FUCKING HELP AND LOVE AND CARE JUST FOR SOME IGNORANT FUCKS TO THINK HES AN UNFEELING COLD HEARTED PERSON.

the reason he's doing this at first is because of his parents, his parents goal were always to make Gotham a better place, and he wants to continue his mission, he did not fucking master everything for 17 years just for you fucks to think this doesn't matter to him. that Gotham doesn't matter to him. that the people doesn't matter to him. that he doesn't care. he didnt think so far to keep the justice league safe and for the kids he saved to not fear him just for you to think he's a violent man beating peace of shit. he did not fucking take in kids who needed a parental figure in their lives, who needed to do things more than they can right now, who would do things they would surely regret in the future, or who would turn out much worse without him, just for you to fucking think that he would abuse them and treat them like garbage.

batman isn't fucking crazy. he isn't unhinged. he's not punch first ask later. dude if he could he fucking would solve things out peacefully and by the law as Bruce but he fucking can't. he's literally THE FUCKING BRAINS OF JUSTICE LEAGUE. AND YOU THINK HES VIOLENT???? the reason people think he's oOoo sO viOlEnt IS BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO PUT IN MORE FUCKING EFFORT TO TAKE DOWN HIS ENEMIES. HE CAN'T JUST NONCHALANTLY DEFLECT BULLETS LIKE SUPERMAN. HE CANT JUST STRIKE FEAR INTO CRIMINALS BECAUSE THEY FEAR HIS POWERS BECAUSE HE HAS NONE. HES SO VIOLENT BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO BE. HE CANT JUST WALK UP TO SOME PEOPLE AND TAKE THE GUN OUT OF THEIR HANDS AND BE LIKE LOL SCRAM. HE NEEDS TO ACTUALLY TAKE THEM DOWN??? USING STEALTH??? AND INTELLIGENCE??? AND PLANNING??? HE DOESNT FUCKING BEAT DOWN EVERYONE??? MAYBE MAKE THEM UNCONSCIOUS YEAH BUT HES ONLY VIOLENT TO PEOPLE WHOS LITERALLY TRYING TO KILL HIM?????

BATMAN ISN'T GOING TO FUCKING LOSE IT AT THE NEXT SECOND, ONE OF HIS STRENGTHS IS HIS AMAZING GODDAMN SELF CONTROL AND WILL. HES MUCH MORE SANE THAN WHAT PEOPLE THINK.

do you REALLY fucking think that Alfred would let Bruce fucking abuse his kids.

do you REALLY fucking think that Bruce would adopt these kids just for him to ruin their fucking lives?

Bruce did not fucking give rogues a second chance at life, to just want the best for them, to want the best for his children, to give a support group for the adult heroes and give them resources they couldn't have on their own, to use his riches to make Gotham a better place, who uses his strength and intelligence to save people, just for you all to fucking talk shit about him

people fucking forget that Bruce doesn't want his kids to be crimefighting, that without him they would all be fucking dead in an alley anyways, dick would be stuck in a fucking system that doesn't care about him, and if he finds out who his parents killers are, would foolishly think he can take them down, but he fucking can't, and Jason was a crime alley kid, he would get stuck in a middle of something and fucking die a meaningless death with no one to fucking care for him, Tim would be stuck with his parents negligence, until the future, with no siblings no father no grandfather to care for him, until he had to take over his parents job, until he had to die living a life he did not enjoy. Stephanie would've suffered because she had a fucking villain as her dad, she would receive consequences no matter the fucking outcome. Cassandra is even worst, being abused by your parents who are the world's best assassin is going to fucking suck obviously and she would've been another fucking assassin and done so much worse if bruce wasn't there. dick would've ran off and try to avenge his parents anyways, except he doesn't have any training and will get himself killed. Bruce begged Tim to not become a robin, not after Jason's death, not after he lost his son.

he's not forcing any of his kids to be a vigilante, it's the fucking opposite of that

he's just so kind and I wish more people saw that

I know this is off topic but the cup!

Also I love this whole conversation and I need more

Yea I like truth serum Bruce Wayne but what I really want is truth serum Bruce Wayne that makes him say the first thing he thinks. No filter. Meaning he’s either just roasting the hell out of himself the whole time or being genuine

Bruce: [sips his too hot coffee] “try waiting a minute you fucking moron”

Bruce: [nearly drops phone] “almost ten years of ninja training and you can’t even tell”

Bruce: [eating his breakfast]

Tim: “hey Bruce, still having side effects?”

Bruce: [looks up] “they’re only side effects if I squint, otherwises I just seem sarcastic and cynical”

Dick: [takes a selfie with Bruce] “what do you think?”

Bruce: “we look like shit”

Dick: “yea, we do look like shit” [deletes photo]

Bruce: [steps in water wearing socks] “I hate being alive, it’s not worth it anymore if this is the trial I have to face”

Alfred: “just take off your socks”

Bruce: “I’ll take you off my will”

Damian: “I wished you leave me alone”

Bruce: “and I wish I knew how to communicate with you properly”

Damian: “yea, because I’m so difficult”

Bruce: “because I love you and I want to be the father you deserve”

Jason: “I fucking hate you!”

Bruce: “same. Wanna make a club?”

Jason: “… wait can we?”

Bruce: “see Jason’s got more self control than me, because if I killed somebody then I’d just kill everybody. Equality, am I right?”

Bruce: “god, I’d wish you’d kids stop stressing me out”

Tim: “well sorry we can’t be perfect”

Bruce: “who said you aren’t perfect? I love all of you so much I feel like I can’t breath sometimes”

Clark: [wearing a new dress shirt]

Bruce: “you could get it”

Clark: “what?”

Bruce: “I said what I said”

Now we know where Damian got it from

16-year-old Bruce Wayne trying to be sneaky

Alfred: [stops by Bruce’s door because he hears talking] “who are you talking to?

Bruce: “uh, no one!” [shuffling noises]

Alfred: [closes his eyes and counts to 5] “I’m coming in, be decent”

Bruce: [laying in bed partially under the covers, he is shirtless] “hey Alfred”

Alfred: [raises an eyebrow at the obviously large lump under the blanket next to Bruce] “who is that?”

Bruce: “who? There’s no one here, Alfred”

Alfred: “that lump under your blanket, master Bruce. Is this what we’ve come to? Blatant lying and sneaking people in?”

Bruce: “no?”

Lump moves

Bruce: “this bed is very bouncy”

Alfred: [strides over to rip the blanket off]

Bruce: “Alfred wait, please I can explain-“

Alfred: [rips off blanket revealing a black lab who is happy panting. It’s tail immediately starts thumping at the reveal]

Bruce: “he’s my friend! and and I am already planning on rejoining him after I find the right person and I gave him a bath, he has a name, and uh, look this collar? I bought for him today. He even has a leash to go with it-oh! Look [gets up and grabs bandanna from nightstand] “he even has an outfit!”

Alfred: [slow blinks] “I was expecting a person, a girl or a lad”

Bruce: [freezes] “nono, no person or uh boys? Definitely no boys- uh um…”

Alfred: [staring at the dog in shock] “master Bruce, I will be completely honest with you I did not expect this”

Bruce: “I feel like your expectations were actually too high”

Alfred: “where did you get this dog, Bruce”

Bruce: [looking down] “I might have stolen him…”

Alfred: “I’m not going to even ask, I sure you had your reasons… please, just don’t do this again”

Bruce: “… if I were you I wouldn’t go in my bathroom then”

Cat suddenly meows loudly behind bathroom door

Alfred: [leaves the room]

OMG THIS IS LITERALLY PERFECT!!! AHHHH!!!

I kind of love the idea that Jason’s everyday civilian style is varied and you never know what you’re gonna get. He could be “preppy librarian college student,” or “leather jacket punk,” or “rich upper-class businessman,” or just “Teenage Boy In A Hoodie.” He is an enigma. He is a fashion icon.

"Tell him to get in line"

"Tell him to get in line"

He should shatter his spinal cord

As a treat :)

jason todd should get to shoot the joker.

as a treat.

Jason should be able to bend all of the jokers joints (yes ALL of them) backwards

As a treat 😌

Wally: Bitch you will not believe the day I've had

Dick: Bitch you will not believe the life I've lived

I made another one...

reblog to beat the joker to death

"But Alfreeed. I'm trying to look cool in my sunglasses ☹"

I kind of love the idea that Jason’s everyday civilian style is varied and you never know what you’re gonna get. He could be “preppy librarian college student,” or “leather jacket punk,” or “rich upper-class businessman,” or just “Teenage Boy In A Hoodie.” He is an enigma. He is a fashion icon.

When you're so bored of school you make this

Any of the batkids: I'm-

Dad!Bruce: Hungry? Tired? Thirsty? Scared? whaT ARE YOU