Winning At Betrayal.
Winning at betrayal.
I still feel her ghost inside me. numbing sting,I thought would subside by now. I wore my self out. you burned me down. and I was happy. down that road we always drove.I loved it then, but wish to forget it now. those songs we sang never meant more. all that I was somehow turned to ruin, and into nothing... and no more. swept and trampled under the rug. my morals walking out the door behind me. back turned. I didnt care.I dont know how. but all I have to blame is love. no no. it was you my dear. that wasnt love. but I still swallow that knot of rage. that gulp of pain. willingly for you. theres no more I can do. No not for you. no not for you. even if I wanted to. but Im confused. like cattle. I was herded. left undone and deserted. I was more than scared. and Im still scared. a golden tongue a raised right hand, blasphemy. I never even knew. why, just explain to me. just one time. time to put my writhing mind at peace. its ok. ill be ok. its ok. now I keep you as memory, like a melody I cant shake from my history. a tale better told as fantasy end tragedy. or maybe played out on the big screen. but not to me. no not to me. I hope one day... just so you know.. it was the end of that life. and as weak as I am I didnt do it. Always stronger than I think and more than youd credit me. With no one to guide me I flew into the sun. I am not your savior. a knight with no armor. but a castle around my heart. but theres still ways in. though Ive heard it haunted. The sun will shine again and burn away the shadows. leaving only scars. no pain. just reminders of the hardest battles never won. to remind you how you lived through everything you thought would have you come undone. and with that you realize. Ive already ...
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lust on your lips and deception in your eyes. I follow to your tune words sung in lies.
life
Sometimes I get this voice in my head saying. "youre destroying yourself." and the only thing I can think is. I know.
My Hands, Your Lips, Our Eyes.
My hands, you use to say they were perfect.
That I had perfect hands.
I wonder if you even noticed them before you left.
I see my hands everyday, but I never really look at them.
At least I havnt in years. But… Im looking at them now.
Time is showing, the texture is changing.
Fine lines cover my knuckles.
There seems to be more wrinkles where they bend.
They say you can tell someones age by their hands.
I wonder if it’s a fair representation.
I wonder if what my hands where to you, is what your lips are to me.
Soft, pink, plump, warm, delicate, perfect.
I wonder if Id recognize them. If in fact I were to ever see them again.
If we ever see each other again.
Our eyes looked so similar.
Like the same eyes on a different day.
They knew each other so well.
But I wonder if they would recognize each other now? Or later?
Somehow I don’t think so.
A change in shade, hue, fine lines, and wrinkles.
Lines of happiness and pain. Everything in between.
One just as indistinguishable as the other.
I wonder if itd be they cant, or wont want to recognize.
Or maybe theyd wish they had never forgotten.
The undead.
I live like a ghost. invisible and stuck to the corners and dim lit ways you never walk. observing without being seen or felt. as life unfolds around me, I burry the burden. this skeleton in my closet.
1 Truth
the voice is an actor, and the eyes... they can hide. but the heart is honest. we can feel it inside. it feels for all things, all things that we do. all things that we feel can only be true. true cause you felt it, nobody but you. ashamed or embarrassed. its all kept inside.Just to ourselves, to ourselves we cant lie. no matter how hard. and oh how hard we can try. we only know truth in its feeling . no need for words. no room for lies. ...Just love. If you know what that means youll have tears in your eyes. and it beats and it beats and it beats till it dies.
