I Am An Artist.

Vulturesby offermoord

weak but still standing.

all the words that flow through me, never ending verbal sea. none of which amount to anything... not near what I think they mean. All these thoughts Above me circling. pondering if, and what if there was... some meaning? What could it be. What will this bring? wounds in mending. shaping me. Tear it down, now build it up. break my heart but you cant break me. no matter how close you think I seem.

Coming and Going

we’re alone. all by our selves in this unfair world no one cares. what we do or where we go  so why should we? anger burning it comes and numbing it goes. its nothing new to us. driving down these one way roads no one told us where to go and i think this map we have is too old. all we can do now is hope. all alone. our faces  blend into the crowd I guess no one hears us when we speak aloud. so why should we? love burning it comes and numbing it goes its nothing new to us. driving down these one way roads it doesnt matter where we go and I think this plan we had was old. all we do now is hope

The black

just about ready for take off. I can feel it in my breath.

The way it moves through me. shivers up my spine.

it comes on like love. getting me off like lust.

soon it will leave me. Like you in that beauty.

 its the only place… I can go… that you cannot…  follow

Forever and always AKB

I use to watch you as you slept.

I love your lips. soft… pink… warm…

ever so slightly parted, delicate.

id listen to your breath. every breath.

you were so peacfull.

and the soft contours of your body.

dim morning light through the window.

shades of blue and grey.

chest rising just to fall so smoothly down.

your naked body half coverd by sheets.

sheets that couldnt cover you if they wanted to.

my hands on your throught, you liked that.

That look in your eyes. you knew Id never hurt you.

youd inhale with a gasp a pleasure when I got it right.

Everything was always right. everything… right?

Now I know it will be. I know youll never leave.

a gentle thrust, a warm wet gush.

your life no more than a crimson river.

Down your chest, onto the floor.

everything you ever were is mine.

your lips part. and that look in your eyes.

pure. nothing. hopeless. love and everything.

the same as on the side of the road that drunken night.

cold steel, tender flesh. surrender to nothingness.

Youll always be my first and last.

My one and only. your love was mine.

and my life was yours.

Ill hold you in my arms. love you till your gone.

I never lied.

I can still taste you on my lips.

cold and crimson… our last kiss.

Winning at betrayal.

I still feel her ghost inside me. numbing sting,I thought would subside by now. I wore my self out. you burned me down. and I was happy. down that road we always drove.I loved it then, but wish to forget it now. those songs we sang never meant more. all that I was somehow turned to ruin, and into nothing... and no more. swept and trampled under the rug. my morals walking out the door behind me. back turned. I didnt care.I dont know how. but all I have to blame is love. no no. it was you my dear. that wasnt love. but I still swallow that knot of rage. that gulp of pain. willingly for you. theres no more I can do. No not for you. no not for you. even if I wanted to. but Im confused. like cattle. I was herded. left undone and deserted. I was more than scared. and Im still scared. a golden tongue a raised right hand, blasphemy. I never even knew. why, just explain to me. just one time. time to put my writhing mind at peace. its ok. ill be ok. its ok. now I keep you as memory, like a melody I cant shake from my history. a tale better told as fantasy end tragedy. or maybe played out on the big screen. but not to me. no not to me. I hope one day... just so you know.. it was the end of that life. and as weak as I am I didnt do it. Always stronger than I think and more than youd credit me. With no one to guide me I flew into the sun. I am not your savior. a knight with no armor. but a castle around my heart. but theres still ways in. though Ive heard it haunted. The sun will shine again and burn away the shadows. leaving only scars. no pain. just reminders of the hardest battles never won. to remind you how you lived through everything you thought would have you come undone. and with that you realize. Ive already ...

slowing down, screeching to a halt.

never moving forward, nothing moves at all.

the body: organic mechanically.

though this will happen.

we cease to be at all.

Life is...

I paint with my pencil graphite on paper heart on display an image, a word evoke emotion but will never mean what it did to me when it occurred. Just a reminder a place holder in time a memory as art.

do you remember all the places we talked about?

they were all just dreams.