Latest Posts by ticking-time-bomb-vent - Page 4

Oh no not again why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why

no matter how bad i mess up, i always end up the little bundle of sadness curled up under someone's wing.

How ironic is this... I'm telling her everything. I guess one of my friends will always end up being an angel. Somehow they always find me. I don't know why. She's my guardian angel now. Thank you "D"

God im so selfish, maybe if i had stayed, if that coin flip had failed, both of them would be okay.

I could have stayed.

I've done it before

Staying for the greater good even though I was hurting.

I should have stayed, then I'd be the only one hurting. Nobody knew because I was masking.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you so much for teaching me to mask brother

I don’t think I’d be able to leave the house tomorrow if we never met.

I miss you brother.

I’ll come visit sometime soon

do you guys also ruin every good thing in your life or is that just me

They should invent a new kind of Being Alive where it's not painful and it doesn't hurt constantly and actually feels worth it and you're happy for more than a few hours at a time

I had a friend send me one of these guides recently. I guess they really do know me too well.

ah, thank you pinterest. I really needed this.

Taking time away is the only way for progress to be made at this point. My emotions are numbed for now but I know I’ll have a few breakdowns. That’s okay though. I have my brothers and I have my distant friends. This is the way I will grow. I don’t need to recover to progress with growth. The recovery can happen at the same time. I have lots of time, I don’t need to rush it.

As for my plans for school in the meantime, I think I’ll start hanging out with my classmates for once. There’s a few of them who interact with me on a normal basis.

I left some people waiting for me but I won’t rush to them. I need some time.

I will probably be posting some terrible stuff soon but I can almost guarantee I won’t act on any of my urges.

I let myself get swept up by the first person who looked my direction instead of waiting for who I wanted to be with and everything is ruined. For both of them, and for me.

Brother save me from myself, bring me back to when I was normal.

Please

At Walmart because my mom found me on my walk and brought me an iced coffee and talked me through all of my problems and reassured me and for once we had a conversation without any arguments.

Oh here’s a quote from her by the way

“You’re very gifted at building worlds and personalities”

She meant that because I’m a writer but she doesn’t know that’s my entire life story

At least I’m being myself now, not that that’s working

Walking to the one place I want to avoid the most.

School.

I’m going for a walk again just like the one I went on in the winter

I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone or when I’ll get back.

All I know is sitting here doing nothing isn’t helping me at all.

Maybe music will fix me. There’s nowhere to go but up, I guess.

"Good morning bro"

I was about to break down. Thanks.

Good morning bro.

Every time I feel like crying he shows up. We rarely talk about our problems, but we both understand that we both have them.

We have mutual respect for waiting until we're ready to bring it up.

I wonder if he's going through the same things.

...We're both too good at masking, because we're the ones who taught each other how.

Im the reason it got this bad.

I’m the reason you got like this

I’m so sorry for everything. I ruined everything for you and I’m so, so sorry.

I have a better relationship with my brother than I do with any of my real family.

I might be stupid and angry and cruel and mean and an absolute idiot, but i care, i really do.

I was barely thinking during any of what I did. I’m not sure if I was even actually happy.

Sometimes I wish you were able to stay that night.

And sometimes I wish I had said something sooner.

hey if you're seeing this please send me asks or something i wouldnt mind interaction.

music makes life not feel like nails on a chalkboard

"Goodnight bro, see you tomorrow"

He doesn't understand how much I needed to hear that, to know that he's going to spend time with me willingly. Sometimes it feels like people only talk to me because I initiate, but hearing those simple 5 words made everything feel okay. I feel like I'm back in 8th grade, making plans to go over and hang out in his backyard I feel like I'm free from all my troubles that came later. I'm free from the changes that I never wanted to make and were forced on me by... some bad people.

I feel like the person I want to be again. I feel like I am who I should be and who I would have been if not for all the shit I've went through.

I hope this feeling stays around for a while.

I hope he says those words again tomorrow. "Goodnight bro. See you tomorrow" Goodnight, bro.

I'll be here, enjoying the feelings those words gave me. It will be a good night.

I'm oddly calm for all the things rushing through my mind.

I guess talking life through with my brother helps.

Not my real brother, of course.

But I consider him family.

What have I done?

This isn’t how I imagined it

I don’t blame you

Why are you blaming yourself?

It’s going to be okay.

You’re going to be okay

If you’re okay I’ll be okay

Everything is going to be okay

i set off an explosive reaction just now didn't i

🫠🫠🫠

Being an empath sometimes means knowing what people actually think even when they lie.

Why does it feel like with every relationship, romantic, platonic, whatever, they’ve always already got one foot out the door?

This is where my life is at this point 😔

J - Just

I - Into

R - Risky

A - Antics

I - I also wanna die and drink and jack off and die and drink and jack off and die and drink--

reblog if ur doomed by the narrative