Latest Posts by vampfacing - Page 4

all fetishism is bad because fetishes are fixations and sex is supposed to be relational - instead of being aroused by your partner and using things as props, you end up being aroused by a thing and using your partner as prop. if you fixate on a specific scenario for one and end up aroused by playing it out rather than the person you're having sex with, your partner is just an actor in it and could be replaced by whoever. that's why postmodernist pornography-fueled sexuality is so painfully unerotic - it's impersonal, without the intimate interpersonal element, desire of a partner as a person. it's literally regression in sexual development

it's a big shift when you realize 99% of all actual beauty comes from nutrition, exercise, sleep, low-stress levels, and dental hygiene. And it doesn't come from makeup, clothes, fake hair, fake eyelashes and fake nails. If you actually want to "glow up" 99% of your focus should be on the former- all the other shit is just cheap nonsense for the most part.

Let me describe to you what kind of world gender abolitionists actually dream about: When a child would be born it’s biological sex, being an actual physical reality, would be noticed but not a single assumption regarding the child’s personality would be made based on it. Growing up, children would be free to chose what toys and clothes they prefer. If they want to play with toy trucks or dolls, it would be fine either way. If they want to dress comfortably or in frilly colorful dresses, it would be fine. Regardless of the child’s biological sex. Certain personality traits would not be encouraged in members of one sex and discouraged in the other. Females would be free to be strong, brave and assertive and males would not be shamed for being shy and soft spoken. No female child would be called a tomboy and no male child would be called a sissy. No kid would ever be bullied for what we in our gendered world call “gender expression”. When children would reach puberty they would still be free to dress how they want. Females would not be pressured to wear clothes that reveal their bodies and males would not be shamed if they chose to. Everybody would have a free choice of accessories, which would not be categorized as “men’s” or “women’s” but people could should whichever they liked. Or chose to not wear accessories at all if that’s what they are more comfortable with. Females would not be pressured to keep their bodies slim, soft and hairless. Males would not be pressured to be athletic and muscular. Expectations of femininity and masculinity upon the body would not exist and affect negatively people’s relationship with their own body. Everyone could choose a career without fearing stigmatization within that particular field because of their biological sex. The most important thing would be competence and not what someone has between their legs. Domestic work would not be considered “women’s work” and would be shared equally between the sexes. Biological sex would only be thought about when relevant. Like for example in regards to issues surrounding sexual activity, reproduction or treatment of medical conditions related to a person’s biological sex. And everyone would be free to be themselves without ever having to worry about gender expectations. Nobody would feel the need to repress certain parts of their personality and exaggerate others in order to fit into some gender role that is being forced on them. Gender abolitionism is not about restricting people’s choices but about giving them greater freedom.

http://burningax.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/a-gender-free-world-boring/ (via genderheretic)

-Sofia

(via askaradfem)

“I do not identify with being silent I do not identify with being pink I do not identify with being soft I do not identify with being scared I do not identify with being weak I do not identify with being submissive I do not identify with being irrational I do not identify with being hysterical I do not identify with being bad at maths I do not identify with being unintelligent I do not identify with being followed I do not identify with being grabbed I do not identify with being assaulted I do not identify with being raped I do not identify with being inferior I do not identify with being a woman as society has created it. I do not identify as cis. I am not cis. I am a woman trying to fight with every fibre of my being against everything that my “gender identity” tells me to be. Woman as defined by society is not my gender identity. My gender identity is fuck this oppressive bullshit, and let me be a human fucking being.”

— Week Feminist - A Pox on the Patriarchy (via staininyourbrain)

would encourage those interested in feminist/radical feminist/materialist feminist literature and ebooks to consider buying directly from spinifex press instead of amazon! it is a bit more costly to do so but there is probably no other publishing company with as extensive of a feminist catalogue and mission entirely and explicitly dedicated to highlighting and dismantling sex-based oppression for women, girls, gays, and lesbians. fiction, non-fiction, black authors, native authors, asian authors, lesbian authors, bisexual authors, mothers, child-free women, atheists, the religious, spiritual women, academics, doctors, lawyers, elders, artists, young women, trafficking survivors, abuse survivors, poetry, anthologies, critical analyses, vintage works, medical histories, memoirs, and so much more all through a [radical] feminist lens. a beautiful collection of diverse feminist thought, theory, and history. even if you can't buy anything, join their free newsletter and zoom meetings!

plus, with a changing technological landscape like ours it's a good idea to immortalize these books in physical print in our own libraries. how many movies can no longer be found on any streaming site or in any library with their physical copies going for hundreds of dollars on secondhand sites?

preserve your media and support a feminist company that still has its claws and fangs!

https://www.spinifexpress.com.au

I just saw one of the many ways that rape culture is subtley normalized in media.

I won't say what show I was watching because I don't want any spoilers, but the main character is a shifty guy who's meant to have a good heart regardless, and we're meant to sympathize strongly with him. He tricked a drunk woman into having sex with him by telling her a direct lie about who he was. She woke up horrified at being lied to and he went through his morning routine undisturbed by her outrage or her abrupt departure. The writers try to make it an amusing and light-hearted situation, like, "Boys will be boys! What a scoundrel, how funny, right?"

It isn't funny. It's sexual assault.

Imagine being the sort of "person" who lies to someone in order to get them to sleep with you with the understanding that they wouldn't come near you if you were honest about yourself; knowing that you were subverting their right to be selective about sexual partners and treating them like an object for your use rather than a human being who has the right to decide who has access to their bodies. Yet this is what this man did, and the show just moved on like it was no big deal instead of addressing what it actually was: a sign of a soulless, exploitative sexual predator, and someone no one should be sympathizing with.

There are SO many examples of this. Did anyone ever see those dumbass movies from the early 2000's, Superbad and 40-Year Old Virgin? The former is entirely about two teenage moids trying to get their classmates drunk so they'll be incapacitated enough to have sex with them, fully acknowledging that the girls would regard it as a mistake...

"𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹𝘀 𝘀𝗮𝘆 '𝗔𝗵 𝗺𝗮𝗻, 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘀𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝘁-𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁, 𝗜 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗴𝘂𝘆? ' 𝗪𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲!"

The latter is about a man getting advice as to how to manipulate women into sex, which in one scene involves targeting women who are so inebriated that they're stumbling out of the bar. The men in the movie compare "drunk bitches" to gazelles and themselves to tigers, openly admitting that they're predators.

"𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗮 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗰𝘁𝘀. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗮 𝘁𝗶𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗹𝗲 𝗮 𝗴𝗮𝘇𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗲? 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻, 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗱𝗲 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗗𝗡𝗔, 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝘀 "𝗧𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗮𝘇𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗲." 𝗕𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗼𝗿 𝗻𝗼𝘁, 𝗶𝗻 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗱𝗲 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝘀 "𝗧𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗹𝗲 𝗱𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗸 𝗯*𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝘀."

This all plants the idea that there is nothing serious about men preying on women; that it's even funny in it's own way. A lot of times, these men even have their happily ever after (or something closely resembling it) with the woman they preyed upon. I'm not even 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 to think of examples and tons of them are crashing down on me. Another is the Breakast Club, where John Bender insulted Claire the entire time, made her cry, attempted to fucking 𝘴𝘦𝘹𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳 under the table...

And yet at the end she kisses him multiple times and gives him her diamond earring.

Why? WHY? It makes me want to scream, cry, and vomit! I feel such despair at all of this because it's EVERYWHERE. The message of "Yeah just let men do what they want to you okay, it's normal, dont be such an uptight bitch, it's just what guys do and it's not a big deal" is all over the place and it's no wonder women have such a low standard for decent behavior from males. It's intentional. You have a million shitbag males in movies and shows who you're told to like and to root for while they abuse women who adore them at the end, after all they've done to them. Why would you not believe this is all normal when you're seeing it wherever you turn?

Sometimes it feels like such a huge problem, so all-pervasive, that I just want to throw in the towel. But ALL through my most impressionable years, no one pointed out any of this to me. No one said, "Look at what they're trying to make you believe is normal. Isn't that disgusting and pathetic?" 𝘕𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 talks about it, and I wish someone had! So if even ONE woman becomes more vigilant about the messages she's being fed through these storylines, and the way these situations are portrayed as normal, funny or charming, and these characters as "good guys" when actually they are 𝘴𝘦𝘹𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘴 and NONE of this is normal or okay...

Then it was worth writing a post about.