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R/HW

I am jealous and worried about how much my wife masterbates after our playdates. We have had two playdates so far and the first time I thought it was just because she'd never done it before. She masterbated multiple times a day for almost two weeks. It then slowed down. We had our second playdate last week. I asked her why it makes her masterbate so much and she says she gets horny thinking about it. She never has been like that so I know it isn't masterbating about me. She says it usually is. Sometimes it is the guy, sometimes me watching, but usually it is me sliding in and out of her afterwards she says. I don't believe her and think she just liked sex with those other guys better.

****

Honey, I masterbate 10 times a day for days after a new guy. Sometimes it is that strange cock for sure. Most times I'm thinking of my husband moaning as I make him lick my pussy afterwards until I straight up can't take it anymore. If not that it is his look of need or how fast he nuts after watching me. Turns me on. Believe your wife.

I respectfully disagree with SilverVixnnz opinion that all men who behave like her husband and your friends husband were once players.

I'd fall into the category of guys she's talking about and I was not a player. Experienced is a better word. I'd been promiscuous and serial dated a lot before I met my wife. Slept with a few over a couple dozen women while my wife had just two partners before me.

Never was a player though.

What she's talking about with the confidence and comparisons is pretty close to me though. It was the sleeping with many other women that makes it so I can appreciate my wife so much.

I'd like to respectfully disagree again though that guys like me are delusional in thinking our wives are the sexiest women out there. What we think, or me at least is that we have our sexiest woman. My wife is tall, small breasted, and blonde. She's sexy as fuck, but some guys like short, big breasted with dark hair. I'm not delusional. The guys I watch her with are into her type or they'd not be there. Maybe it validates me. I can't say certainly, I can say that watching her is the sexiest thing I can imagine though. No porn could ever compare. Watching other people in person doesn't compare.

I partly agree on the comparison to other women in swinging. We don't do it much. Usually it is because my wife is craving a womans touch. Same with the occasional threesome involving another woman. In those situations the biggest turn on is still my wife and I definitely feel like I've hit the jackpot with my wife afterwards. Even the greatest sex with another girl can't begin to compare to her. I don't think that is wrong. Everyone should feel like that if they picked the right partner in my opinion. If we are swapping I want the other guy to be thinking how fucking hot my lady is. I don't want him thinking his lady isn't best for him though. That is what picking the right partner should feel like. Nothing delusional about it. It is part of what makes swapping enhance a marriage for people like my wife and me. We fuck, we enjoy, then we appreciate that we have the best in eachother. We'd never have married in the first place if we didn't feel like that.

(This was reply 3 - string 4) pic 2 question niobats-pa-30mile search-FetL

You are missing the point. It isn't that your friend fucking other people makes her husband worship her. It is that it enhances the feelings already there. The situation you described tells me that her husband already had that view of her and he thinks of her as more sexually attractive than other girls including those found in porn. So for him he is seeing his beliefs confirmed. He also thinks so highly of her that seeing her pleasure seems like something that is deserved by her. When she acts out on his fantasies she's giving him confirmation that she is exactly as sexy as he believes. It makes him feel lucky to be with a girl so sexual and sexy. She goes from being what he imagines as sexier than any porn star to proving it true. The more she does this the more his beliefs are made to seem true. He now doesn't just imagine she's his porn goddess, he's sure of it.

The same thing applies to when they've swapped. He views her as the sexiest so in those situations he thinks how lucky the other guy is to sample his wife who he thinks so sexy. The woman he is with no matter how attractive or sexually gifted is proof to him that his own wife is the best because he now has a recent comparison which happened alongside him witnessing his wife with another.

Your friends idea that you try out an alternative sexual lifestyle is fine. Her thinking it gives women power over their husbands like that isn't. She already had the power and what they do increases it.

If she fucks a guy in front of him it is proof she's as sexy as he imagines.

If they swap it is proof he has the greatest wife.

How you describe your relationship it would not be the same thing. A husband loving you doesn't mean he fetishes or worships you.

Hotwifing can be either beneficial or harmful to a marriage. Same with swinging. Hotwifing breaks marriages quickly if the man isn't secure or if he doesn't have a special kink that drives it. The balance is off. Swinging is a 50/50 situation. If your relationship is super strong it will enhance it. You'll become closer, understand eachother better, and in general love and respect eachother more. If your relationship is not strong or one of you doesn't love the other completely it will bring out every problem. It will shine a bright light on fake feelings and ulterior motives.

I suggest you talk all of this over with your friend. Then talk it over with her husband. Get him to describe your friend. That will show you what I'm talking about. He probably thinks she farts rainbow colored sugar candies and walks on cotton candy clouds.

Then talk it over with your husband. Talk till nothing is left to say. Talk until no more secrets or worries could be hiding.

Then without getting mad at him have him describe you.

Maybe you're twice as pretty as your friend and twice as skilled in bed. Your husband is still not going to describe you like your friends husband describes her. He has a fetish and sees her differently than you do. He sees you differently because you aren't her too. If you decide to swing with them no matter how good you fuck and how hot you are her husband will be worshipful of her afterwards. He may really enjoy you. The more he enjoys you the more he'll think how great she is. No matter what he thinks she's best. Think of it as an extreme delusion that causes no harm.

Private me to continue. We've hijacked the entire topic.

You are missing the point. It isn't that your friend fucking other people makes her husband worship her. It is that it enhances the feelings already there. The situation you described tells me that her husband already had that view of her and he thinks of her as more sexually attractive than other girls including those found in porn. So for him he is seeing his beliefs confirmed. He also thinks so highly of her that seeing her pleasure seems like something that is deserved by her. When she acts out on his fantasies she's giving him confirmation that she is exactly as sexy as he believes. It makes him feel lucky to be with a girl so sexual and sexy. She goes from being what he imagines as sexier than any porn star to proving it true. The more she does this the more his beliefs are made to seem true. He now doesn't just imagine she's his porn goddess, he's sure of it.

The same thing applies to when they've swapped. He views her as the sexiest so in those situations he thinks how lucky the other guy is to sample his wife who he thinks so sexy. The woman he is with no matter how attractive or sexually gifted is proof to him that his own wife is the best because he now has a recent comparison which happened alongside him witnessing his wife with another.

Your friends idea that you try out an alternative sexual lifestyle is fine. Her thinking it gives women power over their husbands like that isn't. She already had the power and what they do increases it.

If she fucks a guy in front of him it is proof she's as sexy as he imagines.

If they swap it is proof he has the greatest wife.

How you describe your relationship it would not be the same thing. A husband loving you doesn't mean he fetishes or worships you.

Hotwifing can be either beneficial or harmful to a marriage. Same with swinging. Hotwifing breaks marriages quickly if the man isn't secure or if he doesn't have a special kink that drives it. The balance is off. Swinging is a 50/50 situation. If your relationship is super strong it will enhance it. You'll become closer, understand eachother better, and in general love and respect eachother more. If your relationship is not strong or one of you doesn't love the other completely it will bring out every problem. It will shine a bright light on fake feelings and ulterior motives.

I suggest you talk all of this over with your friend. Then talk it over with her husband. Get him to describe your friend. That will show you what I'm talking about. He probably thinks she farts rainbow colored sugar candies and walks on cotton candy clouds.

Then talk it over with your husband. Talk till nothing is left to say. Talk until no more secrets or worries could be hiding.

Then without getting mad at him have him describe you.

Maybe you're twice as pretty as your friend and twice as skilled in bed. Your husband is still not going to describe you like your friends husband describes her. He has a fetish and sees her differently than you do. He sees you differently because you aren't her too. If you decide to swing with them no matter how good you fuck and how hot you are her husband will be worshipful of her afterwards. He may really enjoy you. The more he enjoys you the more he'll think how great she is. No matter what he thinks she's best. Think of it as an extreme delusion that causes no harm.

Private me to continue. We've hijacked the entire topic.

Subject: forums denial

A//forums//HELP/denial//wanting-him-to-suffer:

I'm not sure you should go this far because you are pretty new, so maybe just incorporate a bit of this into your playtime.

I've been a swinger and hotwife for 8 years and my husband is a stag type, so he doesn't like humiliation and also needs to reclaim me for things to be hot for us both.

I do get off on denial games though, and I love it when he begs, so this is my recipe for complete destruction. I only do this maybe once in every 4 or 5 playtime sessions though so it hurts and isn't fully expected. 

On these nights I like to flirt with whoever I'm playing with a lot, and I tell my husband he's going to suffer. 

When the sex starts I tell my husband he can't participate, jank play with himself, and must stay clothed or he gets nothing exciting at the end except a dead lay. I put on an extra good show and make sure he knows when I'm cumming and even exaggerate it. I try and milk my play partner for everything he has. As long as he can go and as many times as I can get out of him. My husband can't touch me until my play partner has left. 

I go bareback on these nights. My husband has that used and satisfied pussy fetish so many stags have. The more I cum and the bigger my play partner is the more ansty hell be so I act like the guy is huge even if he isn't, and after he has left I immediately tell my husband how much cum the guy had even if I barely felt it all. 

The [oint is to get him as needy as possible and think of me as stretched out, sopping wet with cum, and already fulfilled by so many orgasms that doing him is just a favor. 

I then tell him to look at what the guy did to my pussy. I lay back on the bed and spread my legs, if it starts running out I play with it and put it back in. 

I sometimes have him give me a foot massage with lotion while I play with it and tell him how good my fuck was. I tease him and talk of my cum filled pussy and how many orgasms I had. Exaggeration is part of this. 

I ask him if he wants to touch, I let him if he asks just right, and I then have him finger me. I tell him he can't do anything else or he's getting a dead lay. By dead lay I mean I lay there like nothing is happening and don't respond. 

If he gives me an orgasm I tell him he can eat me out while fingering me if he wants. 

I tease him more while he does this. Eventually, I tell him to make me cum. 

Sometimes I ask for another foot massage and let him wonder. 

Usually, I have him lie down and I stand above him. If I drip on his chest it is a plus but doesn't always happen. If it does I tell him to put it back in my pussy. 

I squat over his face and tease him more. I get him to beg for my pussy. I tell him to beg. If he begs well I fuck his face with my pussy while I fondle his cock. I know he wants s it sucked, but I don't give it right away. Eventually, I do, but I have to be careful because he has orgasmed at the first touch a couple of times. I blow tease while grinding. 

I'll eventually turn around and straddle him, but I don't let him fuck me straight up. I just rub my wet pussy on him and put the tip in. I sometimes make comments on how stretched I am, asking if he's sure he'd like it. I have to be careful at this point too because I've made him cum a few times doing this before penetration. I'd tell him to beg, but so far he always is at this point. 

When I finally give in I go down slow and then stop with him all the way in. I do that because otherwise, I'll at best get three strokes. I then stay like that and let him start moving. I ask how it feels, if I'm wet enough, that sort of thing. He usually gets control and wants me to start moving, but I make him do it for a while so that he gets frustrated. Once I see some frustration I get down to making sure he knows I love him and appreciate his patience by fucking him well. 

I'm not sure how the day-after situation is for you, but we have been at this a while so are really comfortable with what we are doing. If there are no issues day two is the best tease day. You have already reconnected and he's reclaimed you sexually so there shouldn't be any butthurt with extreme teasing on day two. 

This is my time to shine. I use every opportunity I can to talk about how well I got fucked the night before and how amazing it was. I mention my orgasms, his cock size, how much cum was involved, and how I'm sore, but still giddy from the great sex. I don't mention my husband's sex at all except how badly he wanted me and how I made him beg.

I tell him that if we fuck later I'll probably just be thanking of the guy last night.  I say I may just use my dildo though, the bigger one so it is more like the guy from the night before.  That type of thing. Sometimes I have him feel my panties if they are wet. Once I did just use my dildo and only let him eat me out afterward. I thought it was fun, but he was a little butt hurt on day 3 so I haven't done that again.  It is always about making sure you both get as much fun and enjoyment out of the experience as possible. The second you forget to make sure you both are getting something needed then it goes from a hobby that enhances your relationship to one that ruins it in the end. 

//reply:

I became a hotwife a little less than 2 years ago after many years of discussions with my husband. I love him a lot and he's great in bed. We don't have a humiliation type cuck thing. He is very alpha about it all. Our first couple encounters were safe sex and it was obvious my husband liked watching. We had even better than usual sex afterwards for the next couple weeks. I then had my first bareback experience. My husband came from watching when the gentleman came in me. I came really hard from from it too. A total stranger cumming in me made me feel slutty hot. My husband that night came in less than 3 strokes. I came from just that. In the morning he lasted maybe a minute. It was a turn on for me. I've played bareback exclusively since then. I like feeling slutty. I like my husband having no control. I've been edging him a lot recently and denying him unless I've fucked someone else first that week. He's become angry at my edging and teasing him so much. My problem is that we have hotwife dates every few weeks. Less than monthly. I'd like to increase it so I can feel dirty and tease my husband more. He has gotten the idea I'd rather have sex with others than him from me asking about it. I've tried to explain that it is about him. That it turns me on to have him think of me like that and want me like that. He says he always wants me, and I know that is true. It is a different type of want though. I like both types of wants. I feel addicted to his dirty out of control want. I don't feel addicted to the sex with others. I feel addicted to the sex with my husband after sex with others. I'm addicted to teasing him. The power over his lust I guess it gives me. I need a better way to explain this to him so he doesn't think I'm wanting sex with other people instead of or more than him. I'd like if any other hotwives that have this type of motivation could give me some ideas on how to get him to not feel like that. It ruins it for us both.

My fantasy is to go back in time 3 years. My husband was geeking out on girlfriend surprise porn and decided to try it. He blindfolded me and had me blow someone without telling me. I went with it and pretended I had no clue. It escalated from there and we talked out a few rules when it was obvious I knew. For about 4 months he'd blindfold me almost every weekend and I'd have sex with a mystery man. I felt sexy and turned on every minute of every day. My husband looked at me like I was the hottest bunny at the playboy mansion. One of his friends eventually admitted to me he'd fucked me twice and wanted to do it without the blindfold. My husband got pissed. It ruined his fantasy and he lost all interest in it. He also quit talking to his friend. Our sex life is still good, but it was out of this world amazing during those few months. I wish he'd not have used his friends or even people we know. We'd probably still be doing it. I've tried to talk him into going to an out of town club to see about the swingers thing for the last year. He isn't interested. We've talked about dogging with a blindfold but he thinks that is sketchy.

Newbie here. We have been experimenting in the lifestyle for just a few months. My best friend is a long time swinger and hotwife. We have not played with them because we are afraid it would get weird. Mostly it has been good. We have played with 3 couples full swap and a single male for a threesome before this all with condoms. We met a couple and they had good chemistry. We went to their place. The man had mentioned fucking his wife that morning. When playing my husband went down on her and was totally into it. The man asked if we could go bareback. We all on the spot decided to try it. Something new. Our rule had been condoms. I know it is dangerous to change rules on the spot, but we did. Sex was good. Better than with a condom by far. After every play date before my husband and I had great sex again when we got home. This time he claimed he was tired. The next night I initiated sex. I usually sit on his face a while during foreplay. It gets him really excited. He pushed me away and said he didn't want the guys cum in his mouth. We got in a massive argument. I'm livid. I literally had watched him go down on the other woman and they'd had sex that same day. He admitted he'd said he wasn't in the mood because he knew he'd be expected to eat me out because that is always part of our sex. I'm so mad. He actually said we should just wait one more day. I called my friend and she said I should completely stop swinging which I don't want to do because we've mostly had fun times and even when not it has been interesting. I said I think I liked it to much. She then offered to loan me her husband. Said I could use him once a week and then my husband would have the option of either getting over it and eating me or go without sex. She called it training. Her husband never needed training though as he supposedly gets off on her getting creampies. Neither of her suggested ideas work for me. I'm hurt and angry about this. Our rule would still be condoms usually, but now I'm wanting to not have them just because of this. He should like me sexually at all times I think. I'm so mad. Advice would be good.

It was my idea to to visit a swing club and my girlfriend was not into it. She drank to much because of anxiety and we went to a room and had sex with a couple. We then had sex with eachother. It was the best sex we ever had. She told me it was great. She was glad we had went. She wanted to stay and have another drink. Another couple talked her into going to a group room. I couldn't get it up a third time. She had sex with the couple and then two single men while I couldn't perform. I just watched. She wanted to go back to the club the next weekend. We couldn't afford it. Went three weekends later. She was not drunk and wanted to watch people. We had sex in public in a group room. A guy hit on her and she was ok with it. She started blowing me and he fucked her from behind. Another guy was touching her boobs and the guy fucking her and me came at about the same time. It was hot but then the other guy fucked her and I watched only. I can't get up three times. Later she had is go to a room with a couple. I couldn't perform. I ate the other woman out as my girlfriend got fucked. Then my girlfriend ate her out and told me to lick her. I found that one of the guys hadn't used a condom. On the way home I asked if she knew and she did. I'm not happy about that or her making me just watch. I didn't have sex with anybody. She had lots of sex. She likes the club. I don't now. She wants to go all the time and I said I was not into it. Her compromise she say is once a month and says it is not fair I talk her into something she didn't want to do and that she likes it so I take it away. If she could do it for me after I talked her into it I can do it for her now she says. She is very horny now all the time which is a plus. More than before. I want her only have sex with as many as me if we go. She says the many makes her feel sexy like never before and if we go she do as she want. I don't know.

From thw 2021 - not sure why, but found it funny. responses range from more communication needed , should let her do her thing if she does yours first, shouldn't be doing it at all.

It is all about the show for him so make sure it is a good one.

Most importantly is to be appear like you're really into it. Exaggerating your eagerness and excitement will actually increase it for you anyway so it's a win win.

Be vocal. Don't fake your noises , but again it is about exaggerating a little. A little louder than usual will make your husband or boyfriend feel he's watching you as a true porn star.

Talk without overdoing it. Say when it feels good, say when it is just right, announce when you're nearing orgasm and when you achieve it. Make eye contact with your husband or boyfriend on and off throughout the experience. If you are his live pornstar think of him as the camera. You want to look sometimes, but not stare. You're checking in. You can also talk directly to him. Ask him things, tell him things. If he talks to you acknowledge it. If he has requests fulfill them if it doesn't mess up your rythm. You're his star, but you're in charge.

Above all remember to enjoy yourself. When your husband or boyfriend is into watching you have sex with someone a big part of that is wanting you to enjoy it so the more you enjoy yourself the more he will. Everyone gets an experience to remember.

RE/Denial-games-03 We each make rules each new year that we promise to follow. Mine was that he could only have sex with one person in a 24hour period unless I tell him otherwise. He gets really hot for me when I've fuckex somebody else. When we have a mfm threesome or I do the hotwife play he is hot for me and gets me. If we do a couple he can't touch me afterwards until the 24hours is over. Couples are now my favorite because I like making him beg and wait. The sex we have together after the wait is intense. Sometimes I make him wait longer.

watches?

nial-games-03why not just do that all the time? I see hotwives denial as a common fetish. Husbands wanting to be denied for months even. Those cages.

RE/Denial-games-03 He's a voyer and sex addict, not a cuck. I do the hotwife thing just for his voyerism and to get him hot. Couples are better for me because I get girl on girl play too. He gets hot from watching me. We want eachother satisfied. It is a comprise that let's him get some and still leaves him hot for me.

al-games-03 just make him jack it for his satisfaction 🤣 Ever play with couples and he just watches?

RE/Denial-games-03 We do that sometimes. It is not easy finding couples for that. Seems mostly newbies that are jealous and insecure in their relationships are wanting that. I pick the couples. He picks the singles. Another rule I made.

/Denial-games-03 because if it is singles I don't care as much. It is a show for him. What he is looking at is important. If it is couples I pick because I want to find both people fuck worthy. He wasn't good at that. He gets what he gets. He mostly is paying attention to me.

Out of order sdca forum Racheal

I've had sex with a total of seven men. Five were since I've been married with my husband watching. I was very picky before getting married with who I'd date. I'm not picky at all as a hotwife except that the men are clean, in decent shape, and respectful. I do this mostly for my husband. He loves to watch me. He chooses the men. Even if they aren't great in bed it feels good and I always have my husband for sex. We have met only one guy who was worth getting together with more than once. You can't take it very seriously. It is like being in a play with your husband the audience. You try to give him the best performance you can while having as much fun as you can.

Mine is funnier. We've had about half the single guys we've set up flake out on us over the years. Usually last minute. It is bullshit.

We started setting up double dates. One at 6 or 7 for when a guy would be getting off work and one for 10 or 11. That way we'd get to play with a guy almost for sure and worse case was I'd play twice in one night which actually turned out to be great.

My funny story though is that my husband's biggest fantasy is a gangbang on me. It isn't mine. The things we do for our husbands. After him begging enough I said I'd do it. 4 guys. He set it up. Not a single guy showed. I was both annoyed and relieved. He moped for days. We try again. Invited 5 guys with the idea we'd get a flake and I've set the limit at 4. We got one guy. No moping husband this time. No fantasy filled. The guy said he regularly tried to be involved in gangbangs and most times guys flaked. Stage fright and being intimidated. Made the suggestion that if we were going to go about it like we were we should invite a dozen guys and maybe we'd get our 4. probably not. Said to get on certain swinger sites and talk to married men with permission slips and lots of testimonials instead of single guys off the sites we were using. My husband got to work on it and it was a long project. He invited 10 guys including our friend with the advice. You know what happened. My hubby followed both bits of advice and we had 1 guy text the day before apologizing, but 9 guys showed. It was intimidating and our friend with the advice saved us by suggesting it be 2 guys on the bed at once and the others waiting. Instead of a disaster it was fun and one of the most memorable things I've done in my life. I've since done it again with 4. Fun or not it was a 1 time thing.

So I am a lesbian who previously had intercourse with a male only once when in high school. It lasted about 5 seconds and was horrible. I am not poly, and usually avoid bisexual or pansexual identifying women. It isn't because I don't approve, but because I'd experienced bad things in the past.

I met a woman ten years my senior. She was attractive, confident, and basically everything I'd want, but she was not single. She was a bi woman married to a man with an open hall pass for women only. That meant she could sleep with or date women outside her marriage, but not men.

I was leery of the situation, but because she was attractive decided to just keep it casual and still pursue it for the sex until I possibly found someone to seriously date.

After a few months though I was completely hooked. I'd also met and befriended her husband and son. They were all wonderful and it started to feel like an extended family.

Because it had started to feel like something serious to all of us the woman came clean with a secret. Once or twice a month she and her husband would go and meet with men they found online that were traveling in the area and she'd have sex with them while her husband watched. I was appalled at this and after a fight we broke it off.

Less than a week later I went back because I missed and strangely her husband and child too. The extended family part had really taken a hold of me.

We all talked. It was mostly her husband's thing, but she really enjoyed it too. She had no long term friendships with these men. It was just sex and they considered it part of the intimacy between them as a couple rather than sexual sharing. It was hard to understand.

She was allowed to date women because they both agreed that he was enough for her as a man, but couldn't give her the things a woman could. That part I understood a little, but not completely.

She and I agreed to be exclusive as far as our part of the relationship went. We had been doing that already, but nothing had been agreed on before.

She called it womanly monogamy.

We went back to our friendship with benefits type relationship as usual, but now more as official girlfriends. Their secret was rarely discussed and almost always if it was I had brought it up. Curiosity killed the cat.

I'd been dating her exclusively for over a year when she asked me to have a threesome with her husband. Though I'm a lesbian and have no real interest in men I will admit I'd thought of it from time to time. A lot of discussion and I agreed. He was made aware of my lack of experience before hand and I was made aware that he was as much a voyer as hands on. I was scared and excited. More scared. The night it happened surprised me. It was a comfortable experience with my girlfriend leading the actions without even trying. I enjoyed it a lot, but also realized I was definitely a lesbian.

It was good though so we repeated it every few weeks for a while.

One evening my girlfriend asked me if I'd be interested in possibly being with her husband one on one. I wasn't. She somehow persuaded me to try. She would not be home. I was supposed to show up and offer the goods, and she was going to text him it was a surprise.

This is where the curveball comes in. We went to the bedroom and foreplay was more than my wildest hopes.

He however did not get an erection. He could not get an erection. Having never once been with a man unless you count my teen experience I blamed myself and thought I didn't have the proper skills or was doing something wrong.

He was not really worried about it and tried very hard to make sure I knew it was something with him and not me.

Later that night when my girlfriend got back we tell her the tale and I turn into a crying mess. I don't cry. This time I did.

She thought it was her fault because her husband had told her he wasn't into the idea months before and she'd decided to go with her own ideas anyways.

The situation was that this guy loved her so much that he had no interest in sexual activity or any other types of activities that didn't involve her. His watching her with other men and his watching her with me were similar to him. His interactions with me when she was there he said he loved, but it was something he was doing with her at the same time so it became an extension of his love making and sex with her. He couldn't be completely into it if she wasn't part of it.

Again I was confused and kind of understood at the same time.

I ended up being a part of their lives for over four years until his job required them to move to another country. I almost went with them. I loved her as much as I've loved anyone. He was family too. They all were family. I'd have married her if California allowed poly marriage even though I'm not poly.

Through it all she still had her hotel men meetings and I once even went to watch with him. Unlike him I did not like it and instead became angry and jelous.

He told me privately why he thought I got so angry a few days later. He said it was because I hadn't fully committed my heart to her. He said jealousy is normal and fine for some people, but it would be an easy warm jealousy and not an angry one if I was truly committed. She was his and he was hers until the end of life is something he said. Neither of them worried how the other one was thinking about them because they would always be together.

We did try the just him and I sex one more time because she said I should experience it at least once. That time she was there and with light touching and words of encouragement made it happen.

Afterwards both of us said it was fine and we would do it if she was getting from it something like he got from watching her with others. She didn't so we didn't repeat it. Neither of us wanted it.

I watched their relationship a lot after that. Her husband loved her. Like movies love. Jump in front of a speeding car to save her love. Save the planet from an asteroid love. I wanted that.

I guess when it was time they had to move I proved I didn't deserve it. I also showed he was right about my commitment. I wasn't willing to leave everything else for her.

I'm not sure she deserved that type of love either. She did everything he asked. She was a loving wife and they were maybe the only married couple that had been together more than 15 years I've ever met who I'd describe as actually happy. She loved me too. He loved only her. I'm not poly and after those years I know people can love more than one person. I don't think they can love more than one person like he loved her though.

I'll never be poly. I'll never be bisexual. It isn't me. I was born this way. They made me wish I was born more their way.

That is mine. No flames 🙉

I've had sex in front of my husband 8 times now and have never orgasmed during it. I fake it every time and act like it's really big because it turns him on so much. I have enjoyed all but 2 of the times, I just don't reach an orgasm. It is worth it though because my husband is so into me afterwards for weeks and I like that. Also 2 of the times were really amazing so I masturbate thinking about those times a lot. I've probably had over 100 orgasms just thinking of those times even though I didn't have one at the time.