Jacob Seed/staci Pratt - Blog Posts

That's Mathematics, Son

Jacob gaslighting Staci when "sharing" the last can of food in the bunker.

One time Jacob near-starved to death because he wouldn't tell his Pa that he was hungry (since he's the silent type, of course).

Steady Hand

Pour Me Another Drink

Is Pratt Gotta Get Up???

Don't ask me, I have no clue what is happening here. All the long shots of Jacob sitting on the couch are there for the sake of continuity, I promise. Pratt is being super extra in the end btw.

Somethin' meaty for the main course That's a fine lookin' high horse What you got in the stable?

My Partner and I

My partner and I saw you from across the bar, and we really hate your vibe. start. running.

Caravaggio Meets Jacop and Bosstaci

Anyway, I have decided to bother chatGPT with the dirty cop x cartel boss AU stuff.

Warning:

All the images below were generated by ChatGPT based on my screenshots of Bosstaci & Jacop, and Caravaggio's style (with a single exception). If you do not like AI art, you are free to scroll by.

So, ofc a Jacop sitting cozily on the floor. Also, no matter what I do about Seeds, it always ends up with,

HIM???

The spirit of Charlie Hunnam truly haunts the Seed family.

Onto Bosstaci now:

The boy looks ill and sad, like anyone would in 16th century.

Ofc, we need a group (of two) photo as well:

I have no clue what Jacop finds so funny, and neither does Caravaggio Bosstaci, it seems. He looks like he is tired of Jacop's shit.

Lastly, I have asked Chat to produce its own image, in any style it chooses, based on my endless yapping about them sweet bois. It decided to take heavy inspiration from the neon-night-rainy setup, and came up with these:

I will end by quoting the trully wise words of my good friend GPT:

Sunset's soft. They aren't.

Please take your time to enjoy the song and some rather scenic footage.

After a long day of dirty work, Boss Staci's got his smoke, Jacop's got his beer, and neither has any plans to talk about what just went down. It's not exactly peace, but it's the closest they get to tranquility.

Still In Desert

Peekaboo, motherfuckers

Hopefully will post a longer video soon.

You were sayin'?

Alumnus - Alumni

Octopus - Octopi

Anus - Ani (in case you didn’t know this one, kids)

x - Jaci

So x would be???? Jacus? As in Jackass?

Implying that Jaci is a ship that represents a multitude of Jackass people?

Makes sense.

Stay tuned for more delulu linguistic analysis (or check out some of the previous ones).

1 2 3 4 5

The Turntables

Peaches, Peaches, Peaches... what shall we do with you?

So what shall we do with you, Seed?

Quarterly Evaluation Time, Seed

No need to be scared, you are doing great so far.

The Definition of Insanity

One day, this shall be a proper edit. Today, it is just a sketch with Bostaci scaring the living shit out of Jacop (by dropping a sick album?) I mean, look at him, bro can literally turn off the sun. Anyone would be rightfully horrified.

James is an English language given name that is a derivative of the name Jacob, most commonly used for males. Source: James (given name)

I WAS CORRECT ALL ALONG???? HE IS ACTUALLY JACOB FLINT???? Or Jacob McGraw.

Staci Silver and Jacob Flint

What do you mean Jacob and Staci are not a canon ship?

I have seen them (a little hot shit in his 20s and a grumpy ginger man in his 40s) in a ship, on a ship, sailing the said ship for 2 seasons straight and 2 seasons gay.

They are very much cannon.

ba dum tss

Randomly found this photo of Adam and Steve in my files.

Jacob had learned this one in Iraq and told it to Staci before, you know, going and dying on a hill.

DO YOU THINK STACI HAS BURIED JACOB?

How The Turn Tables

Fuck around, and find out. Everyone has their limits

Oh no, the tables have turned. Again.

Meet Cartel Boss Staci's twin brother:

Mob King Stacy.

Yes, their parents named them Staci and Stacy. They also refused to elaborate further.

SIR, I HAVE BEEN LOOKING AT THIS RESPECTFULLY (lies) FOR 3 HOURS STRAIGHT AND 8 HOURS GAY.

THANK YOU SO MUUUUCH.

LOOK. AT. THEM.

Dos gardenias para ti Que tendrán todo el calor de un beso De esos besos que te di Y que jamás te encontrarán En el calor de otro querer

I managed to successfully infiltrate @pande-monty-um's mind with this Narcos scene, and I think everyone should watch it.

Thank you @somepersonyan for this inspiration!

Based off this

Side Quest From Cartel

Boss Staci: "Alright, Seed, ready to take the order?" Cop Jacob: "Sure. What am I getting?"

Boss Staci: "Eighteen pounds of cocaine." Cop Jacob: "Solid start."

Boss Staci: "Twelve pounds of crack." Cop Jacob: "Love the consistency. Next?"

Boss Staci: "Two large-" Cop Jacob: "Hold on, is this another drug-" Boss Staci: "Two LARGE tubs of vanilla ice cream." Cop Jacob: "…Do I even want to know why?"

Boss Staci: "Seven male strippers in cop uniforms." Cop Jacob: "Let me get this straight-"

Boss Staci: "No, not straight. They should be gay." Cop Jacob: "Are you shitting me?"

Boss Staci: "Also, make sure none of them are white. I can't see the coke on them if they are." Cop Jacob: "For fuck's sake… You done?"

The Cartel's Worst Investment

Boss Staci: "Any updates on the Juarez case?" Cop Jacob: "Hold on a sec, I just gotta… Oh, damn, this is good. Sorry, you were saying?"

Boss Staci: "Keep fucking around, and you'll find out." Cop Jacob: "Find out what?"

Boss Staci: "Window or aisle?" Cop Jacob: "Window or you'll what?"

Boss Staci: "That's on me. I set the bar way too low."

Für Pfirsiche

Needless to say, Peaches was not impressed.

Pathetic

Guys, I think dirty cop Deputy Seed is scared of his boss. No, not Whitehorse. The other boss. His nemesis. The one he hates.

The one he holds hands with.

Kudos to @pande-monty-um for the idea!

Monkey in a Cage

Did you think you were free?

Now, what is the worst thing you could ever be? Hm?

No no, it's not...it's not weak... It's traitorous.

Treasonous.

Ungrateful for the mercy that w̵̡̨͚̖̲̰̰͎̙̩̩̳̩̳̐͒e̸̢̧̨̹̠͔͓̱̦̙͗̎͐̎͊̈̓́̿̎͒͜͜͝ͅͅ have shown you.

A Hungry Dog is an Obedient Dog

A man who kneels for money will kneel for anything.

A man can't serve two masters; he'll always betray one.

A house dog doesn't bark at the owner; he waits for scraps.

Don't Bite the Hand That Feeds You

Once you're in, you're in. There's no getting out.

At first, you take their money. Then, one day, you realize it's their leash.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

Everybody's got a price. The trick is figuring out what yours is.

Every Dog Has His Price

Loyalty isn't about who you serve, it's about who you betray last.

You stare into the abyss long enough, and the abyss stares back.

The first time you take a bribe, it feels like a choice.

The second time, it feels like your job.

You didn't sell your soul. You just rented it out, one piece at a time.

Estacio Prado & His Dog

Just a humble cartel boss with a dirty bastard on the payroll.

Next Batman?

Here is some Staci Pattinson for your timeline:

"What did I do to deserve this bastard as a partner?"