Jirai Danshi - Blog Posts

"Good morning bro"

I was about to break down. Thanks.

Good morning bro.

Every time I feel like crying he shows up. We rarely talk about our problems, but we both understand that we both have them.

We have mutual respect for waiting until we're ready to bring it up.

I wonder if he's going through the same things.

...We're both too good at masking, because we're the ones who taught each other how.

Im the reason it got this bad.

I’m the reason you got like this

I’m so sorry for everything. I ruined everything for you and I’m so, so sorry.

I have a better relationship with my brother than I do with any of my real family.

I might be stupid and angry and cruel and mean and an absolute idiot, but i care, i really do.

I was barely thinking during any of what I did. I’m not sure if I was even actually happy.

Sometimes I wish you were able to stay that night.

And sometimes I wish I had said something sooner.

hey if you're seeing this please send me asks or something i wouldnt mind interaction.

"Goodnight bro, see you tomorrow"

He doesn't understand how much I needed to hear that, to know that he's going to spend time with me willingly. Sometimes it feels like people only talk to me because I initiate, but hearing those simple 5 words made everything feel okay. I feel like I'm back in 8th grade, making plans to go over and hang out in his backyard I feel like I'm free from all my troubles that came later. I'm free from the changes that I never wanted to make and were forced on me by... some bad people.

I feel like the person I want to be again. I feel like I am who I should be and who I would have been if not for all the shit I've went through.

I hope this feeling stays around for a while.

I hope he says those words again tomorrow. "Goodnight bro. See you tomorrow" Goodnight, bro.

I'll be here, enjoying the feelings those words gave me. It will be a good night.

I'm oddly calm for all the things rushing through my mind.

I guess talking life through with my brother helps.

Not my real brother, of course.

But I consider him family.

What have I done?

This isn’t how I imagined it

I don’t blame you

Why are you blaming yourself?

It’s going to be okay.

You’re going to be okay

If you’re okay I’ll be okay

Everything is going to be okay

i set off an explosive reaction just now didn't i

Being an empath sometimes means knowing what people actually think even when they lie.

first vent post/introduction i guess?

So, first things first. I'm Ticking Time Bomb, which originates from my first interaction here, about me being an explosive landmine. I'm not a great person but I'm trying to get better.

I have a bunch of things fucked up with my life.

I kinda messed up some stuff with someone I consider my best friend.

My life is on a rapid decline, but i've pulled it up from rock bottom before.

The anxiety I get when I remember I might not have hid my blades properly

Trynna act cool and mysterious at the library knowing damn well I'm just scrolling on my silly tumblr 🧍‍♂️

70 followers >////<

Tyssmmm, I dont deserve all of you lol

IM ALSO 5 DAYS CLEAN NOW !!!!! It's so hard, i might relapse tonight, but still 5 days is a lot :]

I really want to cut off my friends because their so toxic and make me feel like shit, but I don't have anyone else to hang out with at school :/

I might not even talk to them, but at least I don't look like a fucking loner :(

One of them in particular is pissing me off cause they always tell me about their relationship struggles or their interests, and whenever I tell them something they dont listen. I can't care about them at all atp, like your partner doesn't like that you like men ?? Well I fucking told you that they were toxic I can't help you. The fuck do they want me to do ??? They send me weird images or weird things in general, and I tell them to stop and they never apologise and continue. They js make me uncomfortable and they used to punch me alot ╯︿╰ I fucking hate my friends, I'm gna jump into a meatgrinder.

hypersexual isn’t just being horny all the time btw please actually shut the fuck up

I don't rlly understand why I don't fit in with anyone :/ everyone just becomes boring, or is mean to me, or treats me in a way I don't want. I try to keep an open mind about my friends/people, but I want friends that are decent people. I want to surround myself with good people, because they would be good, and maybe I'd figure out the correct way to live and act around people, but everyone's who's bad has found there way to me ╯︿╰

I want to slitttt their throaatssss, it's not FAAIRRRRR, HOW COME THEY GET TO BE TOGETHER AND IM ALL SAD AND PATHETIC AND ALONE !!!!!

I was imagining the perfect partner in class again >////< Im going to try to get in classes without all of my current 'friends' because i just neeeeed to meet other people and find a partner whos js so nice >////<

Saw my moots @sw33tl1f3 do this poll so I'm doing it ^^

:3

Me when my blades are dull so to keep myself sane I have to look at shblr until I can get some new ones 😔💔

"No M, you can't carve the name of all your mutuals and friends onto your body !"

God forbid a boy has hobbies 🙄

"you're all jirai enough" Until one of us is fat, pudgy, copes/deals with trauma in a different manner than what's commonly perceived, doesn't dress "dark girly", is transgender, is gay, is a man (????there's a literal term for Male jirais), is black, isn't European, isn't Japanese, isn't American, is from a second or third world country, *can't* dress "dark girly", doesn't self harm, doesn't do drugs, doesn't do alcohol, is hypersexual, isn't an NSO fan, is pro-recovery (that one's a little debatable but whatever), isn't a female in general, isn't deathly pale, doesn't have an ED, doesn't have "soul crushing" trauma, is undiagnosed, self harms but not by cutting, and the list goes on

It’s so weird that people’s first thought isn’t cutting themselves when they’re having a shitty day. Crazyyyyyy like I’m about to have the time of my life with my blades when I get home.

Another thing I hate with jirai tt is that whenever there's a darker skinned or plus sized jirai they don't classify them as one :(((

I wish I had a reason to attend school :P

“you hurt yourself so what’s the difference of me hitting you” im mentally ill and your just crazy.

Im posting these to close to each other 😭

More make-up and sfw training!!!

(Bc living rn is making me wanna go...uhm...do some reaalllyyyy hard and deep...make-up...)

Tw: realistic blood and cuts :3👍

Im js a rlly good make-up artist, it's all fake and for my classes >////<

I think I got baaabbyyy styro??? Idk tho, I dont wanna hype myself up cause yikes :P

me core after downing the whole box of chips cause i was a lil sad🤤🤤

Like ??? Is thattt styro?? Or js a deeper cat scratch :P I think I'm being dramatic I'm gna jump.

Anyway :P here's all of my leg🤤🤤 I like fucking 10 sliced in that big bleeding one (the moot who got sent the video can vouch for me ~)

They hurt ╯︿╰

tw: realistic sfw and make-up:P

I "cleaned" them up but they stinging now :(((

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:(((((