Positive Triggers

This is a reminder to you just as much as it is my self.

You are not expected to know everything about your system at any point, and no one else in your system should be either

It’s okay if no one really knows what’s happening, even if you have a gatekeeper who’s always on top of things, there will probably be times when even they aren’t sure.

It’s alright to not know everything about yourself or even how things should happen. It doesn’t invalidate you or your system.

For some reason up to this point I expected someone in my system to have an answer to any question I had. And then would get frustrated when they didn’t have one. I am just now realizing that it’s not realistic to expect any of them to understand what’s happening at any given point. Including me.

I don’t owe anyone an explanation, and neither do you. Maybe we need to get just a little bit more comfortable not understanding before we can work on understanding.

Thanks for reading, take care of yourself.

-Apollo/Hunter

Random person to my system friend: you like boba?

My system friend: it depends on my mood

Me: is that what we’re calling them now? Moods?

Me: proceeds to cry laughing

-Apollo

YALL! I JUST FOUND THE ‘GOTH RAVE’ COLOR PALLET SETTING!! WAS NO ONE GOING TO TELL ME THIS WAS A THING??!

Here’s my intro. Wasn’t really sure what to say but today I learned I’m terrible on camera. Anyways. Sorry about the wrinkled shirt it’s the only one I could find that I felt okay in.

Don’t forget to sleep at some point

-Hunter Noceda

I played the game again today and as of this point I still remember it, let’s see if I do tomorrow, lol

-Apollo

Okay, so on amnesia, there’s this game that I’ve apparently played with my bf FOUR times now. And I don’t remember any of them. Until he told me today I didn’t even realize that I had played a fourth time. And I only knew about the first three because he had told me about them some point after we played.

It is absolutely insane to me how fully I can forget something like that. How totally absolute my brain is when blocking it out. I don’t remember us planning to play, getting ready to play, playing, wrapping up, or whatever we did after that. It’s absolutely insane. And apparently I’ve beat my boyfriend at it several times now.

It’s not an obviously triggering game either, it’s a basic fantasy monster slayer type board game using cats and other furry animal characters. I assume, I don’t remember ever playing it.

The weirdest part to me is that I don’t even remember missing anything. I have no clue when we played, or what we were doing before or after. It legitimately feels like it never even happened and all I have to go off of is my boyfriend’s word, which I do trust, it’s just so bizarre. It’s almost hard to believe any of it happened because of my complete and total lack or recollection of it.

Anyways, I’ve decided next time he brings it out we’ll have to record at least part of the game so I can look back on it.

This, but for every mental illness. Self diagnosing can be really helpful and when backed with proper research I have very little problem with it. If you feel that ceritain terms help you understand something, go for it, those terms aren’t only there for people who are in a position where they can get a diagnosis. They are also there for those questioning and trying to understand who they are.

I personally start to have a problem when people use terms incorrectly and spread misinformation using them (shout out to the majority of the endo community)

It’s like someone with a hoarding disorder telling people it’s because they’re autistic. Both of these things can be issues separately and should both have support, but they are two entirely different things. Claiming you are one thing without doing the proper research can very easily spread discourse and misinformation.

Spreading misinformation can be detrimental to someone trying to understand themselves or anyone trying to understand someone in the community.

And spreading discourse is a great way to further divide a community like this one that is already rocky.

I’m fine with people self diagnosing in certain situations with proper research. Getting an actual diagnosis just isn’t possible for a lot of people and it can be really difficult to live your life not fully accepting that something is happening, or not being able to explain your symptoms properly because you don’t feel those terms are for you.

-stay safe and well, Apollo

In my autism evaluation today, my evaluator said "whether or not we can give you an on-the-books diagnosis, you do have autistic traits. I would never want to take away language that has helped you find a supportive community or skills and tools that help you navigate the world. Don't use the diagnosis as the be-all end-all measure of your validity."

Anyone else ever feel like their system has too many issues? Like, if I find one more physical or mental issue we have I’m going to loose my crap.

People already have a hard time believing we’re a system let alone everything else wrong with us on top of it.

Why….? -Apollo

Me: goes through trauma

My alters: split just to hide it from me

Me: finds it again

Me and my alters:

Oh how I wish I would just split a Loki fictive already

-Apollo

Having to choose between being awake and feeling like crap or being tired at but not dizzy and lightheaded because caffeine and heart problems don’t mix.

Spoiler alert, I went ahead and drank the caffeine. Feel like crap but at least I’m not dozing off.

-Apollo

USA people! Buy NOTHING Feb 28 2025. Not anything. 24 hours. No spending. Buy the day before or after but nothing. NOTHING. February 28 2025. Not gas. Not milk. Not something on a gaming app. Not a penny spent. (Only option in a crisis is local small mom and pop. Nothing. Else.) Promise me. Commit. 1 day. 1 day to scare the shit out of them that they don't get to follow the bullshit executive orders. They don't get to be cowards. If they do, it costs. It costs.

Then, if you can join me for Phase 2. March 7 2025 thtough March 14 2025? No Amazon. None. 1 week. No orders. Not a single item. Not one ebook. Nothing. 1 week. Just 1.

If you live outside the USA boycott US products on February 28 2025 and stand in solidarity with us and also join us for the week of no Amazon.

Are you with me?

Spread the word.