Bsd Incorrect Quotes - Blog Posts

Atsushi: Got any resolutions Akutagawa?

Akutagawa: Yes, two. Finally kill you and get Dazai to notice me.

Atsushi: ….Mine was to be able to pay rent on time and eat more chazuke…

Dazai: To the new year! I’m going to finally die this year!

Chuuya: Stop making promises you don’t intend to keep! You’re getting my hopes up!

Dazai: Sit on his lap and feel him get hard.

Atsushi: You leave those mall Santa’s alone!

Nikolai: Uh oh look who got caught under the mistletoe.

Sigma: IS THIS WHY YOU CORNERED ME?!

*Valentine's day in Ada*

Dazai: Fufu...no one is giving me chocolate here, how rude. Is my popularity dying?

Kunikida: can you focus on your work then?

Atsushi: what's Valentine's day

Yosano: you give chocolates and other gifts to the person you love

*later*

Atsushi, giving Dazai chocolates: here, for you!

Dazai:....w-h-a-t

Atsushi: Yosano-san said I should give chocolates to the person who I love. But there are so many! So Kyouka-chan and I made chocolates for everyone. Here Kunikida-san!

Kyouka: the glasses one is for you

Kunikida:thanks... I'll keep it

Atsushi: we made a whole bag for Ranpo-san

Ranpo, eyes shining: I love valentine's day

Yosano: these are so cute guys!! Aww

Dazai: excuse me, there's something in my eyes

*Dazai rushes out*

Yosano: did he go to cry?

Naomi: Dazai-san is crying???

Junichiro: now we have seen everything

************************************

Dazai: (spontaneously combusts due to rare emotions)

BSD characters as iconic Kardashian moments:

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Yosano: those are cute jeans

Ranpo: you're cute jeans

Yosano: those are mine?

Ranpo: no

Yosano: I thought you said your cute jeans. Those are mine?

Ranpo: nooo. YOU ARE CUTE JEANS

Yosano: huh? 😧

************************************

(During a meeting)

Dark era Dazai: why cuz Boss, just wants it in his schedule---

Mori: maybe if you had a fucking business you were passionate about, you'd know what it takes to run a fucking business, but you don't. So don't even act like you know what I am talking about.

************************************

*Dazai Chuuya 15*

Dazai: Chuuya has this ugly crying face that he makes

(Chuuya getting scolded by Koyo)

Chuuya: you are sitting there laughing, it's not funny, get out of here if you are gonna continue to laugh and make fun of me!

Dazai: (continues laughing)

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Kenji(holding a piglet): Kyouka-chan to the foyer, I have a little surprise for you 😄

Kyouka: is that a chicckkeeenn? 😃😃

Atsushi: (she thinks that's a chicken? What kind of chicken looks like that)

************************************

(Dazai getting arrested for his multiple war crimes)

Fukuzawa: all of us are trying to be as cool as we can be for Dazai-----Yosano can you stop taking pictures of yourself, your co-worker is going to jail!

Yosano: I feel like I am gonna barf

Dazai: good, throw up....

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(during a deadly mission)

Chuuya: my hat is gone! Omg I am gonna cry. My hat is gone.

Tachihara: Chuuya-san, there's people that are dying 🙄

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Poe: Like, I feel like every year has a new energy, and I feel like this year is all about like, the year of realising stuff. And everyone around me, we're just like, realising things.

Lousia: what is he is talking about?

Mark: who knows

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Just the idea of Atsushi going out of his way to decorate his house for the new years using all the money he has to make Kyouka happy comes into my head----

I do think ever since Kyouka moved in with Atsushi he has changed his lifestyle. He bought new furniture, he makes good food at home and keeps the house warm. Cuz Atsushi is never letting his little sister have anything less than what she deserves.

Kunikida: Atsushi came to get his salary in advance again. Do you want me to check on him?

Fukuzawa: no, don't. It's fine

Kunikida: I hope he's not wasting his money like Dazai does....

Fukuzawa: he doesn't. I know it.

*meanwhile*

Kyouka: you didn't have to buy the bunny plushie, I didn't need it!

Atsushi: of course I had to. It's your Christmas gift.

Kyouka: I don't need gifts. I already have everything

Atsushi: no you don't. I want you to have all the things a little girl should have

Kyouka: I already have you, I didn't need anything else.

Atsushi: *starts crying*

Kyouka: *pat pat* I made some cake big bro, let's eat.

*ADA DURING AN EMERGENCY*

Kunikida: quick where's Dazai, we need him

Kenji: he isn't here, he went home

Tankizaki: let me call him

Kunikida: he's not answering

Ranpo: Osamu has a habit of not answering calls when he's drinking

Yosano: where's Atsushi?

Kunikida: Junichiro and I called him so many times what makes you think Dazai will answer him?

Yosano: cuz he's Atsushi? Everyone is wrapped around his little finger

Kunikida: that's not true---

Atsushi: ---hello, Dazai-san?

Dazai: hey, Atsushi kun~ Why did you call ⊂⁠(⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠)⁠)⁠⊃

Kunikida: .....

Sigma: If Santa were real, neither of would be on the nice list.

Fyodor: Actually Santa has my name carved in marble from all the crimes I’ve committed.

Nikolai: Forget coal. Santa’s coming down the chimney for me with a shotgun after what I just did.

Chuuya: How do we wake him up?

Dazai: True love’s kiss!

Chuuya: What?

Dazai: I kiss him and he wakes up.

Sigma: *Sits up* I’m awake! Don’t kiss me!

Fyodor: I have a feeling I have upset you in some way, Nikolai.

Nikolai: *Holding a gun to Fyodor’s head* Actually this is me flirting.

Nikolai: *Texting* Come on. One night with me. I can introduce you to so many kinks~<3

Sigma: *Texting* WRONG PERSON! I AM NOT FYODOR!

Nikolai: Who said this was for Fyodor? ;D

Nikolai: I’ve been good this year.

Sigma: You kidnapped and killed political figures. Stabbed an orphan in the leg multiple times. Drugged me. Then broke into a prison to stage a break out only because you wanted to kill Fyodor.

Nikolai:

Nikolai: I helped stop those thieves at that theme park.

Sigma: *On the phone* Come get your clown!

Fyodor: Actually he is your clown. I forged your signature on a marriage certificate for him last night.

Sigma:

Fyodor: Congratulations Mr. Gogol. I wish you two the best.

Fyodor: Why do I need to renew my ID? I’m still the same person.

Sigma: *Saw his past and power* Don’t fucking lie!

Dazai: Why the hell did you punch me, slug?!

Chuuya: Because you tried to kiss me!

Dazai: You were under a mistletoe!

Chuuya: You put it there!

Dazai: Damn it Chuuya! Just love me already!

Atsushi: Dazai said he wants you to take me out.

Akutagawa: With pleasure. How would you like to die, weretiger?

Atsushi: On a date, you murderous asshole!

Sigma: When I said “kill them with kindness” I meant be nice to them. Not buy over 7,100 knives, carve “kindness” in various different languages on them and then stab people to death with them!

Nikolai: I know I thought this was more fun. Even Fyodor chucked at the joke.

*Dazai and Fyodor surrounded by fire*

Dazai: So, do you feel at home here?

Fyodor: Are you implying I am a resident of hell?

Dazai: Never.

Sigma: Nikolai. Where are you going?

Nikolai: Probably an asylum or the electric chair if I get caught.

Sigma:

Nikolai: Bathroom.

Atsushi: Dazai, what are you doing?

Dazai: Thinking of someone very special~

*At Port Mafia Headquarters*

Chuuya: WHAT THE HELL?! WHY DID I GET A SHIVER DOWN MY SPINE?!

Sigma: I don’t want people being subtle with me. If you want something from me then please say it.

Nikolai: I want to fuck you.

Sigma:

Sigma: Go back to being subtle. For my sanity…

Dazai: What’s better than having sex with me?

Kunikida: Sanity.

Sigma: My casino.

Chuuya: Wine.

Fyodor: Watching a sinner like you burn.

Atsushi: Not contracting every STD known to man.

Dazai:

Dazai: Damn Atsushi…

Lucy: Give it up. I have Tiger kitty’s heart.

Akutagawa: You may have his heart but I have the weretiger’s leg.

Atsushi: Oh come on! Again?!

Dazai: I’m great at seduction, I’ve had so many lovers I even lost count.

Kunikida: *Not looking up from his computer* Masturbation does not count as having sex.

Chuuya: You’re a pain in my ass, Dazai!

Dazai: Yeah, sorry about that I’ll use lube next ti- *Chokes*

Chuuya: *Strangling Dazai*

Mori: *Looks at Kouyou* You owe me Seven hundred thousand yen.

Kouyou: I could have sworn Chuuya was the dominate one in the relationship.

Atsushi: Why the hell am I wanted by everyone suddenly!? Where the hell was all this attention at when I was a child in the orphanage!?

Fyodor: You sound like you are going through a lot and are having a mental breakdown. However I do not care about your feelings, get in the bag.

Nikolai: *Barging into Fyodor’s room* FEDYA~ I made us tea!

Fyodor: That is surprising but kind of you. *reaches for a cup*

Nikolai: *Pulls them away* One second. *looks at both cups* Want both?

Sigma: What are you thinking about?

Nikolai: How good you would look, tied up, gagged, and in the trunk of a car~!

Sigma:

Nikolai: You asked~!

Dazai: Fuck you Chuuya!

Chuuya:*Not even thinking* Fuck me yourself, mackerel!

Dazai: *Unzips pants* Alright.

Chuuya: *Runs* Fuck no!

Dazai: *Chases him* I’m honoring your request, Chuuya~!

Kunikida: *Sent Dazai to get rid of Chuuya* HOW THE HELL DID THAT WORK?!