Latest Posts by eeeeeeismeee - Page 4

is it just me or do stomach growls lowkey feel nice

*one dry response* they hate me and want me to kill myself

UGH I HATE ALL PRONOUNS IM GONNA EXPLODE

3dblr is such a helpful community to have, or I can at least say this for myself.

I've learned so much about harm reduction from some of you, as well as what food i can make/e@t without going above my limit.

I know it's obviously a disorder and all of the other things that could be said as a fact, but also I firmly believe that without community, it would be so much worse. All of the acceptance, unwavering support in recovery when people want that, as well as not forcing anyone to do anything. A lot of people don't get that sort of freedom.

I think back at people who lived before the internet who had an 3d, some like; Karen Carpenter (who died from it), Jane Fonda, Sally Field, and even some of our older family members. I imagine it must've been even more isolating, plus absolutely less support and harm reductive information readily available.

While we aren't lucky, we do have eachother, and all of this other insight gifted to us by eachother. All of this proves to me just how important community and solidarity can be.

The next few days are going to be incredibly busy for me, but that's awesome because I'll literally won't have time to eat :D

I'm not going to try and fast though, because I will need the energy

It started today with me having to stay at school until 6pm (🥲) because of choir practice, tomorrow I'll have to leave almost right after school to play at a concert (I know I'll barely have time to change and maybe practice the pieces one last time)

And on Saturday I'll have singing stuff from 8am to 4pm

Both crying and laughing right now because I know I'll be DRAINED when all this is over, but I won't be around my parents to watch me eat, I won't be at home with all the binge food and I'll probably be to busy to even think about eating anything, hopefully

As I mentioned though, I will be having dinner, because it's the only time I'll be around my parents and I will really need that energy

Lesbians will see a girl with slightly rolled up sleeves and be like. Oh. Oh no.

Tw: Talk of self harm, vent

So, we got this new girl in our class and she doesn't bother hiding her scars - they're all over her arms and look like they were quite deep and I don't know if I'm wrong or being an asshole for feeling like this, but a while ago I kind of told a friend of mine that I used to cut (I told her "used to" so she wouldn't actively worry and at that time, I was really trying to quit) and now we have to take these stupid swimming classes - and don't get me wrong, I'm actually glad I don't have these permanent bright pink scars (I have some which are like dents in my skin, but mostly mine are white or light pink) and I schedule when I do cut in a way they'll be as healed as possible for the next swimming period - and I just feel like such an attention-seeking crybaby now for having told my friend without even looking like it's bad - heck, maybe she didn't even notice at all, because she hasn't said a word to me about it!

And I feel so bad for feeling somewhat, well, competitive towards that girl in a way, because I didn't start off for attention at all and now the last thing I want is to be discovered probably, but I guess I'm just really worried about what my other friend thinks of me now, but I can impossibly bring it up to her-

It's just really something else when you see something on the internet, sometimes even as "motivation", than seeing it in real life.

sometimes I just sit there having imaginary conversations in my head whilst making little gestures and expressions, and sometimes I don't even realize

I must look like such an idiot then lol

So, I tend to make self-deprecating jokes (I try not to, but sometimes when I feel especially bad they do slip out a lot)

But when I was about to make one, my one friend just told me (I can't tell if she was annoyed or rather angry, to be honest) to "quit with these fucking jokes" and yeah. I get my friends are done with me, but that still almost made me cry

a friend told me I'm one of the skinniest people she knows

I don't know if she meant it though, so I'm feeling really conflicted about it, because for one, I want to feel incredibly happy about it, but then I know what my scale says, and what my thighs look like... But maybe she was just talking about my waist.

The not-eating after my class was cooking went well yesterday, the teacher was so busy, she didn't even pay attention to me

Now that but four more times to go still 🥲

It's ok to eat if:

You're feeling faint

You need to keep people from worrying

It's a birthday (yours or someone else's)

It's a holiday or tradition

You're feeling down and want to treat yourself

You're offered your favourite food

You're hanging out with friends

You're watching a movie

You're at a funeral or wake

You need the energy for school/work

You're just generally hungry

You won't be any less valid if you eat, and sometimes it's necessary. Don't beat yourself up, you'll be ok <3

My class will go on a one week sailing trip in summer, so we're practicing what we'll cook and stuff, starting tomorrow - and I'm so scared. There's no way I'll eat at school, and even though it's kind of established between my friends and I that I just won't eat, what should I tell my teachers or other class mates if they ask?

I could go to the bathroom for a while once it's eating time, but what other things are there?

Please give some kind of advice guys 🥲

STATS??

Well let's just say I'm not overweight but I'm quite definitely not underweight yet 😭 and so I don't feel comfortable sharing that until I've reached at least one gw sorry

Guys im so angry, because I just ate a protein bar as I always do a little while before eating dinner with my family (so I feel more full and won't stuff myself) and then headed off to orchestra practice but then my mom called after me to take my keys with me because...... My parents won't be there this evening.

Meaning I could've easily fasted until tomorrow evening but noo I had to eat that stupid protein bar.

It's fine; I can just run the calories off but it'll still be that I have eaten when I could've stayed hungry 🥲

THIS exactly omg

why is my entire dash just edblr, wlw nsfw txt posts, occasional sh pics and every now n then something NORMAL 😭😭🙏

I get so mad when my friends tell me like “omg I ate so little today, im anorexic” or “im soooo hungry i haven’t eaten breakfast”

Shut up. Literally shut up. I’ve been fasting for 3 days.

I really love math and physics actually

When u think ur doing 'well' so you try to eat normally again but instead get on a choo-choo train to b1nge land

I be contemplating my whole life

I can't believe I was actually considering thinking about thinking to consider recovery, when my siblings apparently see me the way they do - and if all it took was that and a good scroll through Tumblr then I guess I really wouldn't be ready at all

"i'm so bored i don't know what to do!!!" i said with 4 homeworks to do, 11 school texts to copy, a test to study for, a new subject to memorize (i'll end up doing nothing)

Fuck boy problems I’m going back to ⭐️ving for comfort.

Meanspo?

Don't need that, my siblings made me in the Sims, realistically 😃🔫

I'm so torn between wanting to move out and get as sick as possible living alone and wanting to be recovered by then.

Because the ed part of me has been waiting for that since I first developed it, but then I actually want to make it in life, maybe I'll be studying physics or chemistry and I'll NEED brain power for that, and I can't keep thinking about food 24/7 then, I know it'll likely never fully go away and at the moment, I'm not even trying to get better, but I just don't know what to do

I don't think I want to recover yet - let alone that I would be able to right now - but I know that at some point I'll have to if I ever want to be more than I am right now

Could someone please give me some kind of advice 🥹

on that note

while going over your calories is not necessarily a binge, you do not get to decide what binging is for other people!

i’ve seen comments saying “not even 2000 calories is a binge” dude. it’s not about numbers. you can’t put a number on restriction - someone can be anorexic at 0 calories, at 200, at 800, at 1000, at 3000+ because it’s not about the numbers that you eat, it’s your mindset

binging is uncontrollable eating, past the point of fullness, into the point of pain, but it can also be mindless, thoughtless over eating when you don’t want to eat

numbers do not make up your binge. don’t think that because you didn’t reach a certain amount of calories, doesn’t mean you didn’t binge. same as restricting. just because someone went further, doesn’t mean you didn’t go at all

Gay with an eating disorder?

Nah man I go by wlwlw

(Get it? Please tell me someone gets it lol)

I should've worshipped her sooner

i made a post like "wow my mental health is so much better than it used to be" but then i deleted it cause i remembered that it's actually just as bad, but in a new, different way

i was almost bamboozeled into thinking i got better when i'm actually just a different flavor of miserable now

I'm so upset right now, because I've planned out every food I was going to eat for the day and it's been going so well, but now my parents insist they make something for the entire family to eat for dinner, and even if it's soup (and slightly lower in calories than what I would've had otherwise) I'm really quite angry I couldn't follow through with my plan :(

Also, I have no way to count the calories of what my parents cook and that makes it scary no matter what it is, but hey- they're making just soup

Theres this one special website which tells your weight in x days if you eat a certain amount of calories... What's it called??