Latest Posts by eeeeeeismeee - Page 3
Okay but why do I actually kinda love writing essays
PoV: Tiktok knows you too well
i know we’re all mentally ill here and everyone is going to scroll past this but i feel like i have an obligation to make a post like this every few weeks.
i am not romanticizing what i go through at all. i am miserable. this disorder is miserable. please, if there is any hope you can recover, try it. i will be your biggest cheerleader. not because i want to see you gain weight, but because I want to see you live, truly live.
you will probably never make it to your ugw. if you do you will not be happy there, or you will die of complications when you’re finally happy.
the way I keep eating like a pig like wow goddamn bro do you even want to be skinny
I just wanted to work out, but when I started the headache I was having all day just got so bad I almost cried holy shit how do I get rid of that?
Lazy or a procrastinator? I don't know! I don't care! It all leads to me being the same useless, ineffective, inefficient piece of shit!
Oh and I just had my two Sims kids taken away because they were kinda ugly and now I'm left with the favourite..... and yes, it's what I did instead of working on my physics paper :D
daily affirmations:
i'm not chopped
a burger is not going to kill me
the opinions of my classmates don't matter because i'm not gonna see them after we graduate
i do not have a secret crush on my teacher
i'm not a pedophile and smiling at someone younger than me doesn't make me a pedophile
i am not secretly being filmed
i'm not a secret serial killer
nobody is stalking me
it's not a bad life, it's just a bad day
Part of me wants to get better so badly, whereas on the other hand I want to get as bad as possible
as much as im the main factor of my downfall into this disorder i really hope one day i can recover and truly love myself as i am
wdym just staring at the document won't get me any work done
I'm okay eating with my family, even if I prefer to be by myself. But I fucking hate eating around others, even with friends it's difficult. So I'm fucking enraged that my sister's stupid boyfriend - who I absolutely hate, anyway - keeps eating with us. I like neither my sister nor him and them makes it so difficult because they always have me sit next to either of them.
I mean fruit in general are so awesome
My ed is forcing me to basically love all of them, even strawberries - which I used to despise before lol
But now they're like candy :D
strawberries actually might be the ultimate 3d safe food. 33cal per 100g and so yummy and sweet (especially in summer) to be able to satisfy that sweet tooth and reduce chance of a binge.
not to self-diagnose, but something is definitely wrong here.
I fucking hate myself guys
It's the start of Easter break now and like any rational person I ditched all my plans and binged the first day and today as well
If I skip dinner and work out though I can probably do at least some kind of damage control (because I've eaten about 2000 calories now which is really fucking awful) and I can get my steps in as well... I'm just so disappointed in myself, because I was prepared for having my intake be a bit higher during the holidays, because sometimes when I have to eat with my family it just can't be avoided, but not like this, seriously
Anyway, looking forward I guess because I've already fucked shit up I can't change anyway 🥲
big plans this easter (getting drunk‼️)
Now I WOULD definitely OMAD a bottle of wine
A friend of mine composed a couple of pieces and now we - she, three more friends and I - are going to meet up to play them, and maybe record them and see if we will play them at a concert
I'm so excited :)
I thought I WANTED a proper balanced meal filling me up, getting rid of the headache and dizziness and giving me energy.
Turns out all I NEEDED was some coffee and a sf Monster
femmes... 😍 butches... 😍 mascs... 😍 studs... 😍 stems... 😍 futches... 😍 people in between... [im very gay guys]
I'm SO BAD at stuff like that and it's probably really not that accurate but here's mine 🥲
i basically look like this guys (https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1868017 )
mutuals rb with yours PLEASE I WANNA KNOW
edtblr has taught me more about nutrition than my biology class ever could
This one bathroom stall at my school has a fucking heater and it's turned on and I'll spend the rest of the day here omfg I don't care about religion class I just need the WARMTH
self harm will fix me trust
I hate my body more than I like food.
Can overly excessive caffeine consumption be, like,
Bad?
I love sugar free monster energy. Have I told you yet how much I love sugar free monster energy?
Yes? I don't care I haven't told you yet that I absolutely love sugar free monster energy.
I don't think I've mentioned how much I love sugar free monster energy.
Can you tell I love sugar free monster energy? No? You know what else I love? YES, it's sugar free monster energy.
(What a cringe fucking post omg)
My food scale's batteries went empty and I don't think we have the right ones at home so I can't change them right away 😭
What am I supposed to doooo now I just wanna count my cals
War is over y'all
(I successfully changed my bedsheets in less than an hour)
Soooo these busy days I mentioned are over and I have in fact reached my lowest weight since summer! It's probably not that impressive but I am incredibly happy still. (And yes, I am in fact absolutely drained but I did have fun, I'm just so tired now 🥲)
Now I have this Sunday to get through, then a week of school when restricting will be easy of course, but then I'll have two weeks off due to Eastern....
I guess I'll really have to bury myself in work and exercise then and not give myself the chance to eat anything besides the meals I'll have to eat with my family.
Breakfast I should always be able to skip, dinner too I could say I take to my room to eat there because of school work or something, and then lunch I'll just have to always help preparing so I know exactly what we'll eat and so I can make at least my serving lower in calories.
Maybe I'll also have to resort to the sad Pinterest ana meals with half a cucumber and egg whites, because my parents don't seem to know an awful lot about nutrition, and as long as I eat anything they tend to not raise an eyebrow.
(No hate on these kind of meals, they're really a game changer, but since I tend to do OMAD and a small snack, I just really like to make my meals more colorful and more interesting)
I'll also have more time to exercise, then I know of two days on which I can fast, because we'll be travelling to my Grandma, and for a couple of days only my Dad and I will be home, and I have a feeling that will make not eating/eating low-cal meals even easier.
(Partly because the chance someone is going to be in the kitchen when I want to measure out my food will be lower lol)