Latest Posts by zylahbee - Page 5
People wouldn't do XYZ to a person with [disability aid] is such a bad take. I guarantee they do. They always do.
cries in a positive way
Practicing poses and body types and I drew flora. Enjoy!
its truely depressing to think about. nobody should be mistreated and to know and think that its happening constantly feels so hopeless.
it hurts hearing other disabled people talk about medical mistreatment.
like i am partly grateful to not be alone of course, but i really wish it wasnt a common or even standard occurrence.
breaks my heart.
being a disabled environmentalist is hard.
i care so much and i wish i could aim for things like zero waste. but i just cant, doing something like that would be ignoring my health needs.
its quite isolating, because i try to find tips and environmental swaps but often they just arent possible for me to use/do and then i feel guilty for that.
even though i know its not my fault and i cant help it, it just triggers my inner ableism and i blame myself for being this way.
How are you meant to just accept that your chronic illness is permanent? I feel incapable of accepting that this pain, exhaustion and everything that comes with it is just.. forever and I can't do anything about it
okay but why are so many medical professionals focused solely on getting their patients back to their jobs and not actually helping the patient feel better. like you will be literally unable to digest food or eat or do anything and they'll be like "that's not good we gotta get you BACK to WORK!!!!!!!!" and so they drag their heels and take up a bunch of time and give you treatments that don't work or take forever to give you ones that do and when you tell them. hey i still don't feel good the first thing is "BUT YOUR JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
fuck my stupid job. i'm dying. i'm a person not a walking job. help me. a lot of medical professionals will refuse to do their job and instead lecture you about being unable to go to your job instead. unreal.
i feel so disconnected from myself and my life, it kinda feels like im on autopilot or smth
life doesnt feel very real or tangible, it feels distant
feeling really crap.
sorry to messages and stuff i havent replied to yet, ive read it all and appreciate it i promise
incredible 10/10
everyone gets to observe my crutches
i have such a complicated relationship with the word “goals.”
i grew up constantly being asked what my goals or ambitions are for my life. i had answers when i was younger, id come up with different jobs all the time.
but as i got older - and sicker, i found it increasingly hard to feel encouraged by having goals.
it felt more like a weight that i wasnt able to carry, like i was carrying a massive burden on my back with everything going on in my life, and then i was expected to pretend like that burden wasnt there, and to jump up as high as everyone else who didnt have that burden.
as i continued to get sicker (to the point i had to leave school early) the questions of goals never stopped, and that was deeply confusing for me.
my goal was take care of myself, that was it. but that never seemed to be enough for people.
i would answer saying “im just trying to take care or myself and heal at the moment.” and they would ask me again, “but what are your life and career goals?”
why is taking care of myself not a good enough goal?
so now as i am in less of a crisis stage of life, im starting to open myself up to more “career and life goals.”
but thinking of goals is incredibly hard now.. i find myself feeling sick with anxiety thinking about even simple goals.. and i think im just really terrified of “failing” again and having to quit like i did with school.
i also feel like i have spent many years now trying to gain a healthy relationship with rest, with healing, with not being what society deems as “productive,” that i feel a bit uneasy about returning to more “productive” goals.
i dont want to lose what ive learnt over my time healing, i dont want to pressure myself too much to go back to being a “productive member of society.”
there are things i want to achieve in my life, of course there are. i dont lack motivation, in fact i have a really hard time having enough time and energy to do all the things im really eager to do.
its just that i have such a complicated relationship and past with the normal path that society wants people to take in life, im scared of losing myself, and failing in re-engaging in such things.
one of my health issues thats been stable for around 8 years is suddenly worsening the past month and it makes me so scared that i might have to go through the procedure that was the worst day of my life again 😭👍🏻
yes omgosh im having such a hard time finding brightly coloured wool yarnnnn
i just want natural fibre thats colourful pleaseeee
wish be knit with cool yarn rn
BFL & targee & cormo & rambouillet & —
they did what 🧍🏼♀️
this is what i get for not having other social medias kdhdkd
Not me just now learning about this hello???? wtf?
and what i really want is more deformed characters who are GOOD instead of this awful pattern of the deformed characters being evil.
anyways i am currently working on multiple such characters.
Really wish I saw more art of deformed characters. More diversity in bodies. I feel like people are scared to draw us because they’re worried they’ll do it wrong or something. But 1. wrong and trying is better than nothing, and 2. you can always ask somebody for input. There are always people who are willing to answer your questions, you just have to find them. My asks are always open and I know a to of other people who are like that, too.
i desperately wanna live on linphea its stunninggg and please if i could also be the princess of it that would be great tysm
and magic it would be kind of a mix between morphix and illusions? i wanna be the fairy of creativity and have the ability to “paint” and “sculpt” whatever i want and it appears
I have a question for the fans of winxofandom. If you were in the world of winx, what kind of magic would you have, what planet would you like to live on? I'm interested in reading!
If you’ve ever related to the phrase “if you want something done right, do it yourself” then you have absolutely no right telling a disabled person with carers how it “must be so nice to have people help you to cook/ clean/ shower”
lately if im not constantly occupying my brain i spiral.
my mind is exhausted from the constant stimulation but i dont know what else to do.
i hate greenwashing fucking hellll
exactly 😭😭 its always like “aw im so sorry i get it ive been through the same” and then ur like ah shit not another one.. :((
it hurts hearing other disabled people talk about medical mistreatment.
like i am partly grateful to not be alone of course, but i really wish it wasnt a common or even standard occurrence.
breaks my heart.
healthy coping looks different for everyone right, but i really wish it was easier to figure out what was right for me without all this trial and error stuff 😭
hello to my physically disabled friends. if you, like myself, spend a lot of time in bed and stick to one particular spot it might be worthwhile to see if your mattress needs rotating. i got mine shifted and it became immediately obvious that it had developed an indent and wasn't supporting me well. i could feel the difference immediately after lying down
society would be so much better if everyone just admitted they wanted a teddy bear.
none of this “its childish” crap. you wanna give a squishy fluffy bear a hug i know u do.
admitting it is the first step to emotional maturity mhm.
ughhh if u say soooo 😔
Annual reminder to my fellow disabled and/or chronically ill folks that the new year doesn't mean you have to set arbitrary goals and reinvent yourself just because everybody else does. You will still be disabled next year and no amount of planning and setting goals will change that. You're already lovely as you are. Don't let society suck you into this shit that is just so unrealistic and toxic even for non disabled people. Take care.
anyone else use drafts like a todo list
i have so many drafts that just have like one or two words where i was like omg gotta post about this and then moved on and i dont really know what i was trying to say !!
pls communicate with urself better ty bee
ive been avoiding my shower for months (been using literally any other shower) but i finally used it today and i didnt even cry so i think 2025 is going pretty good so far fingers crossed everybody manifest tysm
i find it interesting the overlap of c-ptsd symptoms with autistic traits.
i get asked all the time if im autistic. i even started questioning it myself just from how often this happened to me.
but while yes i have a lot of symptoms that are a part of many autistic peoples experiences, i wasnt always this way. i developed these symptoms throughout my childhood as i went through more and more trauma.
i remember when i wasnt sensitive to noise, light, etc. i remember when my social abilities were practically the same as my neurotypical peers. i remember when i never needed to carry stim toys everywhere i went. just to name a few.
anyways, i have so much in common with my autistic friends. while we arent the same, we get each other on a level that i havent found with many neurotypicals. ive also found that i often gravitate towards autistic people without meaning to.
i think its nice that we can find community where we didnt really expect it.
i was trying to figure out why I find it so difficult to talk about my illness & disability with new people, or even people from my past, and I realized part of it is that I still feel like a phony? I didn't bring my cane last night and so it felt like I would get called a faker. or maybe that I was really a faker, see I'm out without my cane maybe I don't need it? and then the other part is that when it's a new person I feel like they're going to immediately run for the hills bc I am a huge red flag burden for so many reasons having these problems.
and then I thought about it some more & while some of that is kinda true, mostly I have to kill the ableist in my head. yes, sometimes it will be too much for people. but I have to let them make that choice. I have to just be who I am & let it happen even if it's heartbreaking to not meet new friends or connections. because not everyone will see it that way, and I literally cannot hide it so I have to just exist as I am and let the cards fall as they might.
any other invisibly disabled people really struggle to use the disabled bathrooms 😭
if there is a queue i quite genuinely need to use it, but when other people leave the queue for the regular ones to use the disabled i have no idea if they are also invisibly disabled so i never like, interrupt and say i need it yk djshjd
i do wear my sunflower lanyard but random people in bathroom queues rarely know what that means
just pls if ur able bodied i understand it may be annoying to wait in the queue but if you dont need the disabled bathroom pls dont use it
idk its just a hard situation to navigate for me fnkdn