@n@ Buddy - Blog Posts

Best for fasting are: lots of work, lots of water and lots of sleep. And my muts supporting me and my bff.

Eastern was not good. Fuck holidays. But now on track again. One meal every second day.

Feeling exhausted. 3d needs patience

At times it is only sadness. And 3d is even more my friend

Ate an apple yesterday 😭. And feel I failed @n@ and my best friend.

I am not accepting anymore that "3d" stands for a disorder. It is not a disorder for me. It is my personal way to growth, discipline and pureness. Therefore I will in future see "3d" as "eating dharma", a spiritual way to grow. Like so many enlighted humans have done in religion and spirituality

Early in the morning, second day fasting. I am happy. I am not alone in that. I feel the warmth of doing it together, living it together. Being less, purging away all superficial, all unecessary. Being pure at the end. Feeling being loved and being able to love.

Waking up and feeling dedicated and strong. I will fast the whole weekend, at least until Sunday. The goal is as everyday to purge away all superficial and diminish to pureness. But now I know I am not alone with it.

@n@ is for me more than the desire to be pretty. @n@ is for me the deep desire to purge away my body. It is a deep spiritual process for me. It is no 3d, it means liberation and the deep desire to be pure. (I respect ALL motives of you guys here)

Essentially I want to be less. Diminished. 20 kg of me are not needed. I want to be less visible. Paradoxically I find a friend(s) here who sees me. This makes me happy. So I want to disappear while being happy to be seen.

I have an important exam tomorrow which lasts all the day. Normally I would not eat at all today, but then I sleep not good. So I might need to eat, but I will try to eat as late as possible. I hate it.

After 48 hours fasting I was so exhausted that I nearly was not able to run, only 6 instead of 10 km. So I decided to eat something. The funny thing is, after intermittent fasting I cannot binge anymore. There is no space in my belly. And that is genius.

In this box is the key of the kitchen. I can't enter it. I will run afterwards and then leaving the house immediately. No chance to eat. Tomorrow the same. I could block the kitchen irreversible up to 99 hours, but I am not always alone...

I agree, accept from diet coke. I believe that any artificial sweetener fucks the system up, which is not good. I don't think artificial sweets are dangerous generally, but giving a fasting body a sweet taste induced insuline activity and compromises the other good hormones. I keep to green tea as much as possible.

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 🩰 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰

𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬

𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐭. 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬, 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐰. 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫. 𝐔 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐬𝐢𝐱𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐮𝐩!

𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭. 𝐈𝐟 𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛!𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐂𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐜@𝐥𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐬. 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 "𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬" 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥.

𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐈𝐟 𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭, 𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭. 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐮, 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨.

𝐃𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫. 𝐈𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐬. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐥𝐲, 𝐢 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲. 𝐈𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭. 𝐌𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐜𝐞

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬. 𝐈𝐟 𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧. 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦, 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭, 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬. 𝐈𝐟 𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐩, 𝐠𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭!

𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩. 𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. 𝐒𝐨 𝐢𝐟 𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐧𝐚𝐩!

𝐁𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐬. 𝐀𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐬, 𝐢 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐠𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐦 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲.

𝐙𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐦. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬. 𝐌𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐜, 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲.

𝐅𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐮 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛!𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐮 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧. 𝐌𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐯 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐝 𝐜@𝐥𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭, 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐥. 𝐆𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐲!

𝐈𝐟 𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐮, 𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐬, 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐣𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬, 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐬, 𝐭𝐞𝐚, 𝐜𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞.

𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤 ♡

First of many days not eating. I am simply not allowed to eat. What a liberation.

World is getting easier. I give the command to somebody and he just commanded me not to eat the next 100 hours. And I will follow that command

Not a good morning. I feel that I have no emotional space. All around me demand their space, more decisive and more forceful. I only want to disappear. Which fits fine with my 3d-goals. At least.

Happy today. Making food for my family, but didn't eat anything. It was no fight, I simply was not tempted. After a binge Friday a relief

Everybody wants something from me. The world is fucking up. I want only run away. I can't. But I can decline this fucking world by declining eating. This really helps. It's not 3d. It's liberation.

Bad day today. I am stressed, there is an important exam in six days. And I was alone at home, the most dangerous situation. So I binged. After running says my calculator that I had an intake of 1000 cals. Still undercaloric, but I feel like a piece of shit

Ate yesterday. Kind of binging. But when I think back, things have changed. I ate much less. I was satisfied much earlier. Today I have 800g more, that will disappear again BC I eat one meal every second day. So no bad feelings. 56.7, BMI 21.08 today.

Dreams are bigger than live. I am dreaming to go fast down in weight, but this will not happen. Real life is step by step. But I go down 1kg a week, sometimes two. I will reach my gw within 8 -20 weeks then. And it is good. Because until then my st3rving will be a habit, not changeable, keeping me there forever.

Perfect "eating day" today where I nearly did not eat 😆

Hey there, 57 kg—didn't see you coming! It's like I've shed some of those weighty worries and gained a sassy strut instead. Now, to conquer the world one calorie at a time, with humor as my accessory and hope as my favorite outfit piece!

Crossed bmi 21 in the right direction today. Can't wait being under 20. I eat now three to four moderate meals a week. Happy.

Today is again a day where the world seems unbearable. My family demanding and preoccupied of their emotions, demanding adaptation to their egocentric needs, the world like a pile of rubbish, people exploiting people, people killing people. I am not depressed, but simply want to become less, being invincible, my body should be halv the body i have now. I want to be a shadow only.